


Feral memories

by devo79



Series: Feral [2]
Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-15
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 17:43:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 28,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/384152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devo79/pseuds/devo79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Initiative mix DNA from Xander and Hostile 17 to impregnate a young human woman, creating a hybrid child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The silence was making Angel crazy. It didn’t usually but this was just too damn quiet. He looked over at Spike. The blond vampire was sitting in the passenger seat looking out the window. He would turn in his seat now and again to look back at Xander and Beth.

Xander hadn’t spoken since they started driving and Beth had only asked where they were going once.

Angel looked in the rear-view mirror and watched as the little girl took her daddy’s hand and gently stroked her small fingers over his broad palm.

Angel stopped when they reached the ’Welcome to Sunnydale’ sign. Spike looked over at him and nodded, got out and waited for Angel to take the passenger seat. Spike climbed in, buckled in, looked back at Xander and Beth making sure they were buckled in as well.

Spike then proceeded to drive into the sign and back over it a few times just for good measure. Beth giggled and Angel was almost certain Xander smiled.

“Are we there yet?” Beth asked and looked at Spike.

“Yeah, Bit. We’re there,” Spike said.

\--------------------------------------------

They stopped outside the watcher’s house. Angel had called ahead and asked Giles to make sure they would be alone. The watcher had demanded to know what was going on but Angel had simply repeated his request until Giles had agreed.

Angel and Spike got out of the car and both started walking up the garden path to the front door. Angel turned and was about to tell Xander that the rest of the L.A crew would be there in an hour or so. But he was looking at thin air.

“Spike,” Angel said pointing at the car.

Xander was looking at the open car door. He hadn’t moved and Beth was holding on to his hand. Spike walked back to the car and looked in. Xander’s eyes were dilated, he was breathing hard and his body reeked of fear.

“Xander, we won’t let anything happen to ya.” Spike looked at the little girl and smiled “Or Bethm” he reached in and took the boy’s hand “Remember? We promised.”

Slowly Xander got out of the car followed by Beth. She looked up and said

“Can we go home now, Spike?”

“No Honey. Angel says they need us here,” Spike started walking toward the house while he still had a firm grip on Xander’s hand. Halfway to the front door, where Angel waited for them, Xander started pulling away.

“Giles…” Xander whispered.

“There’s no reason to worry…” Spike said.

“Willow…and if Willow then Buffy…” Xander’s eyes started scanning their surroundings and growling. He pulled Beth closer to him.

“Xander, pet, they won’t be here, yeah.” The blond vampire pulled Xander into a hug. “Angel asked the watcher to make sure we could meet without them there,” Spike whispered in Xander’s ear. Beth, who was pinned between the two men, hugged Spike’s legs.

Angel walked over to them. “You’ll be all right, Xander. You and Beth,” Xander nodded, took a deep cleansing breath and followed the two vampires to the front door.

\---------------------------------------------

Angel stood there with his hand hovering in front of the door. He had intended to knock but…

He felt a small hand at the back of his knee and then Beth knocked on the door. Nothing at first. Then the sound of someone moving about.

Xander started whining almost silently and Spike gave his hand a good squeeze. The door opened. Giles. Standing right there. Right in front of him. Xander moved his feet restlessly.

“Angel, Spike,” Giles looked at the vampires and nodded in greeting. Then he looked down “Oh…and who are you?” he said smiling at Beth. He reached out his hand but immediately stopped when he heard a low warning growl. The watcher looked straight at Xander, opened his mouth and said in a gravely voice “Xander? Oh my God! Xander?!”

The watcher reached out and pulled Xander close. Holding the younger man and whispering “Oh God…my boy…thought I’d never see you again…thought I’d lost you.”

Spike moved to get between them but Angel shook his head. Xander answered the hug by putting a shaking hand on the man’s shoulder.

\---------------------------------------------

“When you left town…” Giles began.

“Didn’t leave,” Xander said.

They were all sitting in Giles’s living room. Beth was in Angel’s lap, she looked tired. Xander kept looking over to make sure she was safe.

“You took all your things and your car…you left Sunnydale. We all got letters from you about why you needed to leave and go…Where did you go?” Giles wondered.

“Didn’t go anywhere. Not at first,” Xander’s voice was hoarse “My things were gone?”

“Well yes. We thought that maybe it was a Hellmouth thing and you’d been…but all your things were gone and your mother…she said you left…that she saw you leave,” Giles remembered meeting Mrs. Harris. She’d been so drunk that he hadn’t known what to do.

“You said he left letters for all of you?” Angel asked rubbing a sleepy Beth’s tummy.

“Yes. Well a letter for me and one for Willow and Buffy. The letter for me was about Xander wanting to have a real life. A life like other teenagers. Not to mention that he didn’t - unlike Buffy and Willow - have any special powers. He wrote…” Giles turned to Xander “You wrote that being normal would end up getting you killed if you stayed on the Hellmouth.”

Xander was shaking his head. “But I never…I didn’t write any letters,” he turned to look at Angel “Really Angel I didn’t…”

“I know, Xander. And that means that someone else wrote those letters,” Angel got up and gently put Beth in Xander’s arms. “She’s almost asleep,” Spike ran a finger over the child’s forehead.

“I’m sorry and if I have no right to ask…but the girl…” Giles pointed “Is she yours, Xander?”

Xander looked down at Beth. Her unruly curls cascading over her eyes, her little nose slightly wrinkled and her pale skin. It all called out to the hyena. Pack.

“Yes…she’s mine,” Xander looked at Spike and smiled. Spike was looking at the door. He got up and was about to say something when the front door opened and Buffy and Willow walked in.


	2. Chapter 2

“Angel?” Buffy said and quickly started walking past the couch not noticing Xander and Beth. Unexpectedly she turned and faced them. She had a stake out and was about to attack before Xander could react. Buffy was suddenly slammed against the wall.

“What the hell, Angel!” the slayer yelled as she squirmed to get free.

“I’m not letting you go before you calm the fuck down, Buffy!” Angel bellowed.

Spike had moved Xander and Beth to the back of the room. He stood in front of them snarling and in game face.

“Um…um…guys I…” Willow looked at Xander and stopped talking. Her eyes big and her mouth open. She just stared until Spike said

“That’s it we’re leaving. Don’t need ta upset the Little Bit so we’re leaving right now. Ta much!” He started moving and made sure Xander and Beth stayed behind him. Just as they were passing Willow she reached out and held on to Xander’s wrist. Xander started pulling away. Snarling and growling. His eyes changed colour. Emerald green.

“Oh Goddess! Xander!” the witch cried out. Buffy pushed Angel away and looked at Xander.

“You turned him?!” she scream and started walking toward Spike.

“No! You stupid cow! I didn’t turn him! Chip! Remember? Daft bint!” Spike yelled and attempted to push Xander back into the corner of the living room again. But Willow wouldn’t let go of Xander’s wrist and Buffy was blocking their way. Beth could feel the anger in the room rise and she began to cry. Angel was yelling. Giles was trying to make them all calm down.

Xander started zoning out. He could feel his control slipping and his senses grow stronger. The only thing he could concentrate on was Beth crying.

He let go.

Spike knew the second it happened. Xander’s scent changed. Became wild, earthy, feral.

Willow found herself flying thru the air and hitting the floor with a loud thump. Xander was out the door with Beth in his arms before any of them could react. Spike and Angel followed. They stormed out of the house just in time to see Xander close and lock the car doors.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Xander locked the car doors and pulled Beth close as he sat in the backseat. Beth crawled down and sat on the floor. Xander found his jacket and tugged it around her. He hadn’t stopped growling but every time he touched Beth he would make a small sound. A mix between a purr and a whine. When he was sure that the weakest member of the pack was safe he curled up.

Spike was standing outside the car looking in. He was furious. Angel was still arguing with Buffy and Willow and no one noticed Giles join Spike.

The watcher had no idea what was going on. When he hugged Xander the boy had felt warm and he’d had a heartbeat. He wasn’t a vampire. He wasn’t human either, though. Giles noticed the little girl looking out at Spike. Her face was damp with tears and something…she had ridges? On her forehead?

“She can’t control her game face if she gets scared,” Spike growled.

They both watched as Xander rested his hand on the terrified child’s cheek. She turned her head and slowly bit down on her daddy’s wrist. He rumbled encouragingly deep in his throat. Her eyes never left Spike’s. She wiped tears away from her cheek with the back of her small trembling hand.

“That is it!” Giles said. “I said. That. Is. It!” he yelled.

The watcher walked up the garden path grabbed Buffy’s hand and told her to “Get the bloody hell into the house now!” Willow was too stunned to do anything except follow the slayer.

“You two calm the boy down,” Giles looked at Angel and Spike “And then, please, bring them both inside.”

“We won't be bringing him inside if Buffy or the bloody little witch is acting like that,” Spike said.

“If they do anything to hurt or scare Xander or Beth we’re leaving, Giles. And you’ll have to deal with the apocalypse on your own,” Angel pointed out.

Giles looked back at the car “When I am done with them they will not say or do anything to hurt him.”

A car parked behind Angel’s. Cordy stepped out. She looked at the three men standing outside the house, looked at Xander curled up in the car and then all hell broke loose.

\---------------------------------------------------

“What the fuck is going on? You’ve been in Sunnyhell how long before he gets hurt and upset? I don’t believe this and don’t you just stand there looking innocent and all librarian like. What did Slutty the Bitch do this time? I swear to God if she hurt him I’ll…”

“Cordy please we’re handling this!” Angel had to yell to get the former cheerleader’s attention.

“What the hell…” Gunn and Wesley came up the garden path with Fred trailing behind them. Cordy stayed by the car. She was shushing Beth and telling her that everything would be fine.

“I should…” Giles said and walked into his house.

“Why is Xander hiding in the car, Angel?” Wesley asked as he reached the vampire.

“Buffy threatened him.”

“Ah, I see. Will we be leaving then?” Wesley looked relieved.

“No. We get Xander out of the car. We deal with the demons. We leave. The end,” Angel said as he walked down the path to the car.

\-------------------------------------------------------

When they entered the watcher’s house again Spike kept Xander and Beth behind him and the path to the front door free at all times. Willow and Buffy were both sulking. Buffy seemed angry and confused but she had promised Angel that she wouldn’t hurt Xander or the little girl. Cordy, Wesley, Fred and Gunn had been sent out to find a decent motel for the LA crew to stay at. Willow just sat on the couch and kept her eyes focused on the floor.

“What…?” Willow began when they were all seated “Where’ve you been Xander?”

Xander just looked at Spike. The blond vampire nodded. “Xander was taken by the Initiative.”

“But why? He’s just human…why would they want him?”

“Ain’t just human. Primal, he is.” Spike pointed out as he gently caressed Xander’s neck. Spike could still smell the hyena so Xander wasn’t completely in control yet. Beth clung to her daddy, her face hidden in Xander’s brown shirt. Buffy hadn’t stopped staring at the little one for even a second.

“The hyena?” Giles asked. He took off his glasses but forgot to clean them. “But I got rid of her. Xander?” The watcher turned his attention to Xander. But the younger man wouldn’t even look up.

“Naw, you just buried her. Gave Xander control but the Initiative unleashed her.” Spike kept caressing Xander while he spoke. Angel was keeping an eye on things. If Lorne was right about Beth then it was paramount that she be kept safe.

Angel started telling the Sunnydalers what Xander would allow them to know. “Xander spend around a year locked up in one of the Initiative’s labs. He only escaped because he was lucky. He spend almost three years alone before we found him. He’s living at the Hyperion now.”

“And her?” Buffy asked, slim hand lifted, finger pointing. Beth tried to hide behind Spike.

“Her mother was part of the experiments as well. Xander has been taking care of her,” Angel said. They had agreed not to tell anyone who Beth really was.

“Oh, um you’re going to stay here in Sunnydale, right Xander? You’re not going back with Angel and Spike are you?” Willow asked her eyes still on the floor.

Xander looked like he was going to panic. Was that the plan? Had Angel and Spike planned to take him to Sunnydale and then just leave him behind? They’d keep Beth. Leave him. He’d be without a pack. Alone. Weak. He was always the weakest.

“He won't be stayin’ here.” Spike clarified “He’ll be going back to LA with us. Ain’t staying!” Spike rubbed his hand up and down Xander’s back. The scent of fear slowly subsided.

“That isn’t really for you to decide now is it, Spike?” Buffy said “Why don’t we ask Xander what he wants? Maybe he wants to stay with his friends and….”

“I think perhaps we all need to calm down,” Giles said standing in front of the door. Xander started to growl.

“You’ll need to move away from the door, Giles.” Angel gently put a hand on the watcher’s shoulder “Xander doesn’t like to be cornered,” Giles nodded and moved away.

“We all need a good nights sleep,” Angel said looking at Spike “Wesley probably took care of the motel by now.”

“You should stay here, Xander.” Willow persisted as she started to move in his direction, hand outstretched. Xander backed away eyes darting between Willow and the front door. Spike pushed Willow out of the way.

“We leaving now then, Peaches?”

“Yeah. We better,” Angel answered. Spike walked past Willow, Buffy and Giles. Xander was holding on to Spike’s hand and Angel lifted Beth up.

“We’ll be back tomorrow night,” Angel said as they walked out of the house.

\--------------------------------------------

Willow could hear Giles and Buffy talk in the kitchen. She was standing outside the house. Willow was certain that Angel and Spike were lying about Xander and the little girl. She had seen how Spike had hugged Xander before they drove off. Had seen how Angel had touched Xander’s shoulder. She wanted to know the truth! And if they didn’t want to tell her she would find other ways to find out.

There was a spell, several actually. A truth spell…but what if Xander didn’t remember all the thing that had happened? She could try out the one for suppressed memories…but that might hurt Xander physically. She could combine the two spells with one that would relax him. All three spells were in different demonic languages but she was pretty sure she could use them or at least parts of them.

Willow smiled. Afterwards Xander would want to stay in Sunnydale. Things would be like before.


	3. Chapter 3

They needed some time to themselves. Xander and Spike. That was why Angel was sitting in his motel room trying to make an elephant out of playdough.

“No Angel! With a loooong trunk,” the little girl squeaked and pointed to the green elephant with the stumpy trunk.

“Ehhh okay…like this?” the head of the House of Aurelius asked, adding a little more playdough and pulling the poor creatures trunk. Beth giggled and clapped her hands.

“Hey Angel? Ya think we’ll need to bring this?” Gunn walked into the room and placed a battleaxe on the bed making sure not to squash the elephant with a green and pink trunk. Beth didn’t notice but just kept playing.

“Just pack all the heavy-duty weapons. I don’t know what we’ll need. Buffy has a lot of stuff as well,” Angel said concentrating on making the yellow horse look right.

“Gunn!” Beth yelled “Look I made a blue doggie,” she held a lump of playdough up for Gunn to inspect.

“Hey! Cool!” The streetfighter exclaimed “Here...I’ll make a whale,” he started struggling with a lump of black playdough.

\------------------------------------------

“Mmmmmmmm who’s your butt-monkey?” Xander mumbled.

Spike sat up straighter. He was straddling Xanders butt. Massaging his back and shoulders. It didn’t happen much. The joking. Actually, if Spike thought about it, it had never happened before. This was a side of Xander he’d heard about but never experienced.

“Xander?”

“Mmmmmm?”

“Whot did you just say?” Spike titled his head.

“Didn’t…I said something?” Xander sounded confused.

“Never you mind, pet.” Spike said and resumed his massage.

Xander moved restlessly and finally turned around. Spike was straddling his hips now. Xander looked up at the blond vampire. He slowly let his fingers run up and down Spike’s naked arms. They never took things any further than caressing or massages. Spike didn’t mind as long as he got to touch the boy. Xander loved, needed to be touched with kindness. Spike leant down, lips a mere inch from Xander’s.

“It’ll all be all right, pet. You’ll see. We help ’em with the apocalypse and then we go back home.”

They never kissed either.

“Home?” Xander stretched “I…I’d like that,” he said and smiled. Spike shifted so he was spooning him. Cool, gentle hands moved up and down Xander’s spine. Caressing. Pack.

\----------------------------------------

Willow mixed the ingredients for the spells. All in one big bowl. She mumbled and chanted. The words were hard to pronounce. Three different languages mixed together. She stopped.

Xander would have to drink it. Maybe she could mix it with some tea or coffee? As long as he drank it all it should work.

\----------------------------------------- 

Angel looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. When Lorne had given him a neatly folded piece of paper Angel hadn’t expected it to be a prophecy. But it was. Actually it was The Prophecy. Capital letters. He hadn’t told Spike or Xander about it. Not yet. He would have to, sooner or later. He read the words again.

Worlds will hang in the balance, the end of time. And a child shall come forth, a gift. She will rule the House of Aurelius. God’s Promise will bring balance...In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. She shall be ruled by the Promise.

Buffy wouldn’t like that. Whatever the Promise was… Angel already knew who the child was. Beth. Little Beth sleeping, curled up, in his bed. The ridiculous Mister Fang staring at him with its beady, black glass eyes. He really didn’t like that doll.

“Daddy?” she sat up rubbing her sleepy eyes.

“Your Daddy’s sleeping. You need anything?” Angel asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He touched her warm cheek.

“Nuh uh…” she mumbled, pulled Mister Fang closer and fell asleep again.

Angel didn’t care about prophecies, capital letters or otherwise. He would protect her. Even against Buffy. Beth was family.

\--------------------------------------------

Angel knocked on Cordy’s door. She opened it and stepped back. He slowly moved over to her bed and Cordy moved her bags. Gently Angel tucked Beth in again and looked up at the young woman.

“She should sleep a few more hours. Xander fed her two hours ago so…”

“Food or blood?” Cordy asked.

Angel smiled. He appreciated the fact that the little girl’s eating habits didn’t faze the ex-cheerleader. He pulled a scrunched up Mister Fang out of his pocket and put it on the bed. “Both,” he replied.

“You gonna tell Bitchy about what Beth is?” Cordy sat down on the bed.

“No,” Angel walked over to the door “I don’t…”Angel’s fingers curled around the piece of paper in his pocket “I don’t think Buffy would understand,” he walked out and closed the door.

\--------------------------------------------

“Spike?” Angel knocked on his childe’s door. He heard movement and then the scent hit him. Fear. He pulled the door open and stormed in, thankful that he didn’t need an invite to access a motel room. He stopped when he saw Spike curled around Xander.

“Shhhh, pet. Xander it’s all goin’ ta be fine…promise,” Spike hugged the boy closer.

“He okay?” Angel asked. The stench of fear was unsettling. Spike turned around and nodded.

“He just had a nightmare is all,” Spike started whispering to Xander “A nightmare ’s all…won't let them hurt ya,” Spike looked back at Angel again “Promise me we’ll kill the bastards, Angel.”

Angel’s eyes focused on Xander’s back, crisscrossed with scars, and nodded.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Willow put the small zip-lock bag in her pocket. She’d been forced to substitute a few of the needed ingredients, not many, but a few. It would work.

“When do you think they’ll be here?” Dawn asked entering Giles’s kitchen.

“Soon, Dawn.” Buffy said walking in with her “But you have to promise me that you’ll stay away from Xander and that little freaky girl.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dawn smiled at Willow “Isn’t it exciting Willow? Xander being back?”

“Yes,” Willow said, fingers clenching around the plastic bag “I can’t wait to hear more about what he’s been doing.”


	4. Chapter 4

“We all set for patrolling then?” Spike asked. He was standing next to Xander outside the watcher’s house. The boy had refused to go inside. If Xander didn’t want to go Xander didn’t go.

“Yeah. Ya’all coming?” Gunn asked. Spike nodded. Xander needed to let the hyena out for a spot of violence now and again. He could already pick up the feral scent of her. Spike still remembered the first time they had taken him out patrolling. Bloody beautiful sight. All muscles, anger and fluid movement. Xander mumbled. Spike took his hand and rubbed his thumb against Xander’s.

“Fred’s with her and Cordy. She’ll be fine,” Spike whispered. Xander nodded.

“Pack,” he said purring quietly.

Angel walked out of the house with Buffy behind him. She looked at Xander and Spike.

“Xander can stay inside with Willow and Dawn,” she turned to Angel “If you trust him not to hurt anyone I guess he can wait for us in the house, right?” Spike growled when he saw Xander‘s shoulders droop.

Angel simply looked at Xander and said “He’s coming with us. We need him to guard our backs.”

“Xander can’t fight well enough to protect his own ass. Just look at how many times he got in trouble in the past,” Buffy snorted.

“Things change,” Xander mumbled as he followed Spike to the car.

\----------------------------------------

They had all fought hard and fast. The demons had no idea what hit them. Buffy was leaning against a crypt wall panting and she let her eyes roam over the others. Angel and Gunn were putting their weapons away. Stuffing them in dufflebags and talking. Gunn laughed. She looked over at Spike. He was standing with his back to her, hands on Xander’s shoulders. Xander looked up and met Buffy’s eyes. She gasped.

The front of Xander’s t-shirt was splattered with blood. It stuck to his chest. His bare arms and hands were smeared with blood and dirt. But the thing that startled her the most was his face. His eyes, green not brown, had a shine to them that she had never seen before. His lips were painted red with blood and it had dripped down his chin. As she watched Spike leant in and slowly licked the edge of Xander’s mouth clean. Xander closed his eyes, forgot about Buffy and whined in the back of his throat.

No one else seemed to think it was strange. Wesley walked over and handed Xander a plastic bag. Spike nodded his thanks and Xander started taking his t-shirt of. Spike helped. As she watched Xander changed his t-shirt and put a sweatshirt on in stead. Spike handed him a bottle of water and Xander drank some of it and used the rest to clean his hands and face. Spike and Xander started walking toward their parked cars. Just as they passed Buffy, Spike said

“Close ya mouth Slayer or a Dinius demon might nest in it.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

They would need refreshments when they came back from patrolling. Willow made coffee and tea and started arranging the cakes on plates. She just needed a few moments alone with Xander. To make sure he drank all of the potion. She just needed a few minutes.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Buffy kept looking at Spike and Xander. She was sitting in the passenger seat and used the rear-view mirror to spy on the two men. Well…she could only see Xander but it wasn’t hard to imagine what Spike was doing. Angel was driving the car and humming. Humming? Things really had changed.

She watched as Xander curled up next to Spike. Purring and whimpering. It looked like Spike was rubbing Xander’s back because his sweatshirt kept moving up and down. And Spike was mumbling “…did good, you did…protected the pack, an’ all…proud of ya…” Every word just made Xander purr louder. Angel turned slightly in his seat and looked back.

“Spike’s right Xander. You really helped,” the souled vampire said.

Xander blushed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“Xander?” Willow timidly asked. Xander turned his head and looked at her. He was sitting on the floor with Beth. The little girl was eating cake and telling her daddy everything she had been doing with Fred and Cordy at the motel. When she noticed that he was busy she just started telling Gunn and Spike about it.

“And Cordy let me try her makeup and she braided my hair. Look! And then she told me stories ‘bout Daddy and I got to eat all the Twinkies I wanted. Oh and Mister Fang…”

“Breathe, Little Bit.” Spike chuckled and smiled at Beth. Dawn sat down next to the excited girl.

“Can I see Mister Fang?” she asked. Beth jumped up and ran over to Angel. The vampire handed over the doll. Beth sat down next to Dawn but stopped when she heard a low growl.

“It’s okay Xander. Dawn won’t hurt her. Spike’s keeping and eye on things as well,” Angel said.

Xander just nodded and returned his attention to Willow. The young woman was smiling nervously.

“I was thinking…um…cause yeah I understand that you want to go back to LA with Angel and Spike and…um…but I would really like to spend some time with you before you go. You know, get to know you again and maybe we could…um…write each other letters and call each other and stuff but really I wanna talk to you first. So if it’s all right I’d really like if you’d come sit with me in the kitchen. Spike and Angel and and B-Beth will be right here in the living room so…” she babbled. Xander tilted his head. He turned and looked at Spike and Angel. Both vampires nodded.

Willow hesitantly reached out and took Xander’s hand and he followed her into the kitchen.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“You want some tea?” when Xander hesitated Willow continued “It’s herbal and good for you…Giles really likes it and and…um”

Xander took the mug. “Thanks Willow. I’d like some tea,” He didn’t really feel comfortable around her, Willow’s scent wasn’t right, but Angel and Spike said it was okay. He sipped the tea. It tasted weird like old herbs and dust. He made a face.

“Oh you don’t like it?” Willow made sure to seem disappointed.

“It’s just I don’t drink much tea and…um…” Xander looked at the contents of his mug. More than half a mug-full left. He sighed and drank some more.

“Here have a cookie as well. I made them myself,” she offered him one. He took it. Maybe if he drank some tea and then ate a cookie the tea wouldn’t taste so bad. He put the mug down on the kitchen table.

“NO! I mean no…you should finish it. Here have another cookie to go with it.”

“Okay?” Xander drank another mouthful. Ewww. He sloshed the remaining tea around in the blue mug. He felt a little tired. He drank the last of the tea and was about to put the mug on the table when he started feeling wobbly. His feet were too big and his hands felt like jelly. The mug slipped out of his fingers and landed with a thud on the floor. It didn’t break…that was good…breakage was bad…ish…

“Just relax Xander,” he heard someone say “Calm down Xander.” 

Oh God no! Not that! Not again. His knees buckled in and he rested his head against the kitchen door. Willow knelt down next to him. She seemed strangely fuzzy around the edges. Like she wasn’t completely there.

“Just relax, Xander.”

“Hurts…please…” Xander’s hands were clammy and they seemed to stick to the kitchen floor. His heart started galloping around in his chest, his throat closed and he gagged.

“Xander?” Willow looked confused “That’s not how it’s suppose to work,” she frowned.

Xander tried to speak

To call out. Pack.

His eyes rolled back in his head.

Everything

Was

Black.

Willow reached out wanting to touch the slumped figure but suddenly she had a hand around her throat. She looked directly into Xander’s green predatory eyes. She gasped. The hand around her throat squeezed harder and a deep, angry animalistic voice growled

“Not pack.”


	5. Chapter 5

Dawn started screaming the second she entered the kitchen. Xander tried to get up but his legs didn’t work. He stumbled a few steps dragging Willow with him. Angel, Spike and Buffy burst through the door in one big tangle. Buffy attacked without thinking and Xander was forced to let go of Willow. Spike grabbed Buffy by the shoulder but ended up on the floor screaming and clutching at his head. Angel got between the slayer and Xander.

“Back off! Buffy! Back the hell off!” Angel bellowed as he pulled Xander close. The boy’s scent was wrong. There wasn’t even a small trace of Xander there. It was all hyena. Angel looked down into green feral eyes. Xander looked confused, dizzy. “P-p-pack,” the boy mumbled and passed out. Angel lifted him up, cradling him against his chest.

“Giles, you and Wesley take care of Willow.” Angel turned and looked down at Spike “Gunn you need to make sure Spike is okay and doesn’t do something stupid.”

They all started moving.

“You don’t really think that we’re just going to let you run this show?” Buffy yelled “Xander is nuts. He tried to kill Willow…” she stopped talking when Beth came into the kitchen “And I don’t want any of you in this house you hear? So take that weird little girl with you on your way out!”

“Buffy,” Giles said “I do believe this is my house. I decide who stays or leaves.”

Buffy looked like she was about to explode when Fred came in with Cordy right behind her. The small Texan took Beth’s hand and gently lead her out of the kitchen. Buffy started to follow but was stopped by Cordy. The two women just stared at each other until Dawn’s sobbing caught Buffy’s attention.

“We’re leaving, Dawn.” the slayer said and hauled her sister out of the house.

“Thank God!” Cordy exclaimed.

\-----------------------------------------------------

They all watched as Angel put Xander down on the couch in the living room. The boy’s body was limp and his breathing slow. He seemed to be sleeping. Willow was crying upstairs in the bathroom. Giles was with her.

Spike knelt next to the couch and kissed Xander’s forehead. He stopped abruptly looking puzzled.

“Whot the bloody hell. Angel…ya smell that as well?” Spike said looking up at the other vampire. Angel leant down and breathed in. He stood up and looked around.

“Did Xander eat anything?” he asked “Or drink anything?” Cordy disappeared into the kitchen. She returned with the blue mug. Angel took it, sniffed it and snarled. He handed the mug to Spike. The blond vampire could smell the potion right away and shifted into game face.

“Cordy,” Angel said “Make sure Willow stays upstairs. Tell Giles that I won’t keep her safe if she comes down here,” Cordy nodded and ran up the stairs.

“Fred, Gunn, take Beth with you to the motel. Make sure to be armed at all times and use the protection spells,” the two humans nodded. “Wesley I need you to try and find out what Willow used in this…this potion.”

As Wesley walked into Giles’s study with the mug in his hand, Angel relaxed a little. He hoped Xander would be fine. If not…Willow would have to deal with Angelus.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Spike watched over Xander. The human’s skin was warm and sweaty. Now and again he would make a small sound, like an animal caught in a trap. Wesley had been joined by Giles and Angel in Giles’s study. Spike could hear them discussing how to proceed .

“Willow is very upset…” Giles was interrupted.

“She should never have been given any kind of magical power. She uses it like a toy. Without consideration for others,” Wesley was enraged. He threw a big book on the table earning him a glare from Giles.

“What did she do to him? She seemed just as surprised by the results as the rest of us,” Angel asked.

“Willow was attempting to gain more…um…information about Xander’s life these past four years. She wanted the old Xander back.”

“For Gods sake, Giles! That does not excuse her behaviour or her misuse of magic,” Wesley yelled.

“Wesley, please.” Angel rubbed his eyes “Giles, details. We need details. What spell did she use?”

Giles looked embarrassed. “She used three different spells for the potion.”

“WHAT! Is she insane?” Wesley was restrained by Angel. Giles couldn’t look them in the eyes.

“She substituted several of the ingredients and she only had a fleeting understanding of the demonic languages she used…I…I’m terribly sorry Angel…I,” Giles stuttered.

“How long would it take us to reverse it’s effect?” Angel asked, his brown eyes had a golden tinge to them.

“We can’t,” Giles hunched his shoulders and seemed to study the floor.

“What do you mean, we can’t? Surely she made an antidote?” Wesley saw Giles’s shoulders sag “She didn’t? The irresponsible girl just thought things would be fine?”

“Look if we knew exactly what she used…” Angel started.

“She used a truth spell and enhanced it with a spell for revealing suppressed memories and one that would make Xander relax,” Giles explained “But with the changes in the spells something must have gone wrong.”

“So if there isn’t an antidote what then?” Angel asked.

“Then…”Giles’s voice trailed off.

“Then we wait and let the potion work,” Wesley answered.

Angel turned around and walked over looking into the living room. Spike was gently stroking Xander’s hair. “You do realise,” Angel said “that this won’t be pretty, don’t you?” He turned back and looked at the two men. “Xander has secrets that I honestly don’t want to know about and I used to torture humans for fun.”

\--------------------------------------------------------

Xander moaned and moved restlessly. Spike immediately started caressing his hands and chest. It had been five hours since Xander had been poisoned by that daft cow. The boy had a fever and he spoke in his sleep, mostly about Beth and the pack.

Giles walked over to the couch with a mug of warm blood for Spike.

“How is he?” the watcher asked.

“Fever,” Spike mumbled as he drank from the mug. He looked up at Giles “You just keep the bloody bint upstairs an’ out of my way. If she comes near Xander…”

“She won’t, I promise.” Giles said and pulled a chair over next to the couch so he could sit down.

“Yeah, well she ain’t right in the…” Spike looked up and sniffed the air. He put the mug down on the floor.

“Is everything all right? Should I go and get Angel?” Giles nervously asked.

“Can't you smell it?” Spike asked.

“I beg your pardon. Smell what?”

“Piss…it smells like…” He was interrupted by sobbing. The watcher and the vampire looked at the young man on the couch but he was fast asleep. The sobbing continued. Spike slowly turned around. Giles turned as well, curious to see what had startled the vampire.

In the corner of the living room, next to a beautiful mahogany consol, was a little boy curled up. His dark hair was sticking up in the back and his big brown eyes were filled with tears. Around the boy the wallpaper looked different. Older. Dirty. The boy was hugging a white bed sheet to his chest and was sobbing quietly. The smell of urine was coming from the sheet. He looked up. He was terrified.

There was the sound of someone moving up stairs as if there was a basement beneath them. Then the sound of a door opening right next to Spike. And out of thin air a man appeared. He towered over the boy.

“For fuck sake. Can’t you keep clean for just one fucking night?!” the man bend down and roughly grabbed the crying boy by the arm. Shaking him. “I swear to God, Alexander! If you don’t stop pissing in your bed you’ll be sleeping in the backyard!”

The boy closed his eyes and flinched, anticipating what came next. He was backhanded so hard he slammed against the wall. Spike growled and ran forward wanting to kill the bastard but only succeeded in running straight through him. The boy, the man and the smell of urine disappeared just as suddenly as they had appeared.

“Oh dear,” Giles said.


	6. Chapter 6

There was a lot of yelling and arguing after that. Spike insisted they go kill Xander’s father. Wesley believed it best to take Xander back to LA. Giles just looked defeated and old. Angel took a deep unnecessary breath and said

“We stay. We deal with the apocalypse. We do everything we need to do in order to take care of Xander. And Spike?” the blond vampire looked up “You’re not the only one who wants to deal with Xander’s father but that isn’t why we’re here, understood?” Spike just frowned.

“I should call Buffy…” Giles walked over to his study.

“Wesley, you need to find out about this apocalypse.” Angel continued.

“But the antidote for Xander. I should at least try if…”

“You and Fred help each other with the apocalypse and the antidote. Spike?” Angel turned to face the younger vampire “You need to take care of the boy. He needs you with him now more than ever…” There was a sudden thud from upstairs and a man yelling

“I don’t give a fuck about that. The boy’s an idiot and he can’t even read properly…What the hell do you mean I need to get a goddamn job, bitch?”

A frantic woman answered but her voice was muffled and they couldn’t make out any words.

“Don’t you disrespect me!” the man screamed. The next sound was the woman crying.

“Please don’t…I-I…just please. You’re scaring Alexander…please.”

Then nothing. Spike was looking up at the ceiling. Giles was holding the phone in a death grip. Wesley’s hands were clenched into fists.

Angel just looked at the closed kitchen door. A teenage Xander was leaning against it. The door was green now instead of the cream colour it had been previously. Xander’s eyes were focused on the ceiling. This Xander was younger than the one Angel had met when he arrived in Sunnydale. The boy seemed to make a decision. He straightened up, walked through the wall to the study and disappeared.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Buffy, Dawn and Gunn were all looking at Xander sleeping on the couch. Buffy had come over the second she had heard Giles’s voice tremble when he called her. The last time she’d heard that was after Angelus had tortured the watcher.

“When you say that you saw his memories...we’re talking about like in your heads, right?” Dawn asked.

“No,” Wesley said shaking his head “We are talking scents and sounds and visuals. We saw Xander’s memories,” Dawn looked fascinated. Buffy turned and stalked off. She wanted to talk to Giles. She needed to understand this.

Gunn said “So…no memories from his time with the Initiative yet?” his eyes were focused on Xander’s twitching hands.

“Not yet,” Angel said “But I have a feeling that we’ll see more than we want too. Sooner or later.”

“And the apocalypse?” Buffy was back, her eyes moist.

“I’ve found references to the demons you fought last night. Chatana demons. They live off the blood of vampires.”

“So they’re like vampire-vampires?” Dawn asked as she watched Spike tuck the blanket around the shivering Xander.

“Um…yes…I guess,” Fred said and looked speculative.

“There are several references to something called God’s Promise,” Wesley didn’t notice Angel’s surprise. “Apparently these demons will need this thing’s energy. They will gain enough strength to open the Hellmouth and bring forth the apocalypse.“

“So we find this promise or whatever and destroy it,” Buffy said happy that she would have something to do.

“Not quite,” Giles said as he entered the living room “The Promise is, according to our information, innocent or at least not to blame. It might even be human.”

“Oh,” Buffy said disappointedly.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“What I’m going to tell you can’t leave this room. Understood?” Angel looked at Spike, Giles and Wesley. They all nodded. Angel sighed.

“The Initiative created Beth. She’s Spike’s and Xander’s,” Angel watched as Wesley and Giles both did very impressive fish imitations.

“B-b-but that’s preposterous!” Giles finally managed.

“Spike?” Wesley said looking at the smirking vampire.

“I understand that it’s difficult to understand and well…weird as hell,” Angel said.

“Look, it isn’t like I knocked the lad up and left him on his own. Didn’t know about her, did I.” Spike said when Giles kept glaring at him.

“Um…the pregnancy and the the the…” Wesley was blushing.

“The what?” Spike teased.

“Spike!” Angel reprimanded but couldn’t help smiling “The Initiative used Xander’s and Spike’s DNA to impregnate a young human woman,” the memory of the girl’s fate was more than enough to dampen Angel’s mood.

“Oh! Yes…um…n-naturally,” Wesley stuttered.

Angel touched the piece of paper in his pocket. He looked at Spike. “You don’t know this but Lorne gave me a message from the Powers That Be. It concerns Beth,” Angel pulled out the piece of paper and simply began to read. “Worlds will hang in the balance, the end of time. And a child shall come forth, a gift. She will rule the House of Aurelius. God’s Promise will bring balance...In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. She shall be ruled by the Promise.”

They were all quiet until Spike said

”Beth’s the child. She’s an Aurelius…but the rest. The Promise…”

”God’s Promise could referrer to the Bible perhaps. God makes promises to the Jews,” Giles pondered.

”Perhaps…” Wesley began but was interrupted by a blushing Fred who came running in.

”I-I really think you guys need to get in here right now!” She said and ran back to the kitchen.

Spike and Angel came through the door first and bumped into Gunn, Fred, Buffy and Dawn. They were all looking at the fridge. Or rather at the two semi naked young men leaning against each other and the fridge.

”Shit…Larry wha’ what if someone comes in a-and sees us?” Xander moaned as he kissed the jock’s neck. Larry grabbed hold of Xander’s hips and pulled them against his own.

”Just shut up! Fuck…Xander…Just let me…for a second,” both were wearing towels draped around their waists. Spike ogled. Angel slapped him upside the head.

”Oi!”

”Can’t forget you thought I…” Larry moaned ”…I was a werewolf,” Xander’s laughter was muffled as he began licking Larry’s broad chest. ”Can’t forget you told me you weren’t into…into guys,” Larry swiftly moved and Xander ended up with his back against the fridge. Both young men looked around the kitchen then started kissing again.

”Wow!” Dawn sighed. Buffy turned her dazed eyes to her sister and resolutely put her hand over the girl’s eyes. ”Aw! Not fair!”

Spike sniggered but abruptly stopped when Larry knelt down in front of Xander. Xander reached out running his hand through Larry’s short hair.

”You…you don’t have to...you know…” Xander’s breath was laboured.

Larry looked up at him and whispered huskily. ”I want to do it,” his hands disappeared up under the towel.

”Out. Out. Out!” Buffy ordered Dawn.

”So not fair!” the teen huffed as she was manoeuvred past Wesley and Giles.

“Oh my God!” Wesley groaned. Giles looked hard at the wall opposite the fridge.

Larry reached higher up under the towel and just as it slowly slid down Xander’s hips and threatened to fall completely off…

both men disappeared.

“Aw! No way!” They all turned to look at Gunn “What? That was damn hot,” the street fighter said and pointed at the fridge.

\---------------------------------------------------

Willow sat in the spare bedroom and pouted. It wasn’t like she wanted to hurt Xander on purpose. She just knew the LA crew was keeping secrets. They had no right to keep secrets from her. Xander was her best friend. She was Xander’s best friend. She wouldn’t let them take him away again.


	7. Chapter 7

Cordy was looking at Beth. She hadn’t seen her daddy for two whole days now. She hadn’t really seen Spike or Angel either and the little girl was starting to look pale. Her eyes sad and fearful. The ex-cheerleader had tried everything - pleading, begging, promises and holding Mister Fang hostage - but Beth just wouldn’t eat. Not food and not blood.

“Angel?” Cordy walked back and forth while talking on the phone “She needs to feed…what? Yes I’m not stupid you know. She won’t…because she won’t Angel she’s three years old…she gets cranky and stubborn and…yes I think she would…no…if he’s all right then maybe…oh…no I didn’t think about that…the potion being in his bloodstream. Then Spike? Or you? Yes. Yes. You’ll send Gunn? Fine we’ll be ready.”

Cordy started packing a small duffle bag.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Has he fed?” Wesley asked Spike. Xander was still unconscious. There hadn’t been anymore manifestations of his memories either. Spike stretched.

“No, was thinking I’d feed him some today.”

“Do you need me to get rid of the others. I’m rather certain that Buffy wouldn’t like it very much,” Wesley gave Spike another blanket he could cover Xander with. It seemed as if they just couldn’t keep him warm.

Spike shook his head and gently put his wrist against Xander’s mouth. Nothing. “Come on, pet.” The blond vampire started to massage Xander’s shoulder. Xander bit down on Spike’s wrist. His blunt human teeth ripped the pale skin apart. He fed for almost ten minutes before he stopped.

Spike looked up when he noticed that everybody had stopped talking. Buffy was frowning and she took a step forward before Angel explained. “Whatever the Initiative did to Xander he ended up needing to eat blood as well as normal food.”

“Does he have to feed of off Spike?” the slayer asked with disgust.

“No, but unlike any of you frail humans, ya daft cow, I can just go an’ drink some more afterwards,” Spike growled.

Dawn screamed when a soldier came flying out of the wall opposite the couch. He landed on the floor with a moan and he was frantically trying to get back up when he was jumped. The man straddling the soldier’s hips growled and kept hitting him. The soldier finally managed to get the knife, he had strapped to his leg, out and plunged it into the man’s upper thigh. An angry scream. Then the man grabbed the soldier’s head and started beating it against the floor. Dawn turned around and threw up. The soldier’s head was one big mass of blood and brain matter but the man didn’t stop before an infants wail sounded. The man looked up and scented the air.

“Oh, Xander.” Fred whispered, her hand over her mouth.

Xander looked at his blood drenched hands. His dirty hair kept slipping into his eyes. He started to lick his fingers clean. His eyes were closed.

“Dear God! He’s savouring it,” Giles said with disbelieve.

As if it was a mere afterthought Xander reached down and slowly pulled the knife out of his thigh. The infant wailed again and Xander smoothly got up. He looked at the knife, shook his head and threw the blood spattered knife on the dead soldier’s chest. He turned around and ran through the couch and the wall.

“Buffy? Buffy where’re you going?” Dawn called when Buffy started walking up the stairs.

“So I suppose this isn’t the best of times,” Cordy said from her position by the front door. Beth was sleeping in her arms. Her head resting against the seers shoulder.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Willow looked up when she heard the door open. Oh good, they had all come to their senses and …what the hell?

“Buffy let go of my arm! Buffy what’s going on?” Willow frantically asked but Buffy just continued to drag her down the stairs. She was dumped in a chair.

“Buffy?” Giles asked tentatively “Why are you…um…tying Willow up? Is that really necessary?” He moved closer to the obviously deranged slayer.

“She should get to see the things she so needed to see. After all she went to so much trouble. What with the weird demonic languages and herbs and shit. Right Willow? You wanted to see what Xander went through, right?” Willow just nodded “Well, this is your big chance. I’m sure you’ll be captivated by it all.”

\-----------------------------------------------

They were all sitting in the kitchen. Well except Spike and Xander. Willow was absent as well but alas they could still hear her.

“Buffy! Buffy! Spike keeps looking at me and snarling. Buffy!”

“Could we gag her?” Cordy asked.

“She’ll get tired of it soon enough,” Angel rubbed Beth’s back. She made a small snuffling sound. Buffy reached out to touch her but stopped. “It’s okay, Buffy. You can touch her.”

Buffy nodded and stroked the sleeping child’s cheek. Beth started whining. Buffy withdrew her hand and looked guilty. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake her up.”

“She’s just hungry…She needs blood and I understand if you guys don’t…I mean my people are used to it but you haven’t…” Angel was getting ready to move into another room.

“Don’t worry. Really Angel. Just feed her,” the slayer said. Angel smiled and let a sleepy Beth feed from his wrist. Dawn and Buffy gasped when Beth went into game face.

“Astonishing,” Giles mumbled.

“Can I touch?” Dawn asked.

“Sure just be very gentle. The ridges are extremely sensitive,” Angel smiled. Dawn let her index finger run over the little girl’s forehead.

“They’re so soft. I thought they’d be hard,” Dawn sounded amazed. “Feel it Buffy. Come on!” Buffy swiped her thumb very lightly over the ridges. She was about to say something when Willow started screaming.

A little boy with dark hair and brown eyes came running through the wall. “Jesse,” Cordy whispered.

“I’m Superman!” little Jesse put his hands on his hips and posed. “Man of Steel” He erupted in a fit of giggles when a little girl slammed into his back.

She shoved her red hair out of her eyes and said “Wha’ about me? I wanna be someone too.”

“Wonderwoman?” Jesse suggested.

“Yay! I like her costume,” little Willow said enthusiastically. They ran through the opposite wall laughing and whooping.

Another little boy appeared “Hey not fair! You gotta wait until I find out who I wanna be.”

“Hurry up. Jesse’s mom made pancakes,” little Willow’s voice floated through the wall.

“Pancakes? Okay! So I’m Batman,” Xander yelled.

“He don’t have no superpowers,” they heard Jesse answer. Xander looked confused.

“Sure he does, Jesse. He’s got lots an’ lots of money,” the little boy yelled back, ran after his friends and dissolved into thin air. They could faintly hear someone singing “Na nah na nah na nah na nah BATMAN!”

Beth stirred in her sleep and asked “Can I be Batgirl, Angel?”


	8. Chapter 8

Willow was sobbing and shaking her head. She didn’t want to see anything. Didn’t want to see Jesse. Happy and alive. Playing. It just hurt too much. Spike was sitting with his back to her. Deliberately ignoring her. Xander was still sleeping. She didn’t understand why Buffy had been so mad. The memory of Jesse, Xander and herself was a happy one. Xander wasn’t getting hurt.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Willy’s bar was just as dirty and rundown as it had always been. Angel and Buffy walked over to a table and sat down on the wobbly chairs.

“Wow!” Willy virtually shouted “Look at that. It’s the slayer. THE SLAYER!” Several vamps and demons slithered out the door. Willy walked over to their table.

“So…um…what will it be? Some nice warm O neg for you Angel?”

“No not really. I’d rather have some information,” Angel answered.

“Well, you know how things are…nobody tells me anything.” He was moving a small towel from one hand to the other.

“That can’t really be true,” Buffy said “Listening to people talk is practically part of your job description. You probably had to take a How to listen 101 course to graduate.”

Willy looked more and more nervous. “Okay,” he finally said “There’s been some talk about a group of new demons in town. Like really bad we’re-gonna-kill-ya-all-demons. They been looking for something. Don’t know what. The words I keep hearing are God’s Promise. That’s it, I don’t know anything else. I swear. Scouts honour,” he put his left hand in the air, looked at it, and then put his right hand up instead. He attempted to make some kind of sign with his fingers and then just gave up.

“I’m getting the feeling you never really were a scout,” Buffy pointed out.

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, Bit?” Spike quietly asked when Dawn walked past the couch.

“Yeah?” Dawn smiled. She hadn’t really had a chance to talk to Spike yet.

“Was wondering if you would help me clean him up a bit,” Spike said holding Xander’s limp hand. Dawn nodded. “Cheers Bit. We’ll need a bowl of warm water and a washcloth and towels. I’ll start getting him ready,” Dawn went to get the necessary things.

Spike gently undressed Xander until he was only wearing his boxers. Dawn came back and knelt down next to Spike and gave him one of the washcloths. “You could wash his legs an’ I’d take ’is arms an’ such.” They started cleaning the sweat and dirt off the unconscious man’s skin. Dawn found a large scar just above his right knee.

“Spike? How’d he get this?” Spike looked at it.

“Probably a gift from the Initiative. Bastards. We should turn him over now. Do his back,” Spike stood up and very slowly started to turn Xander over. When he had positioned Xander on his front there was a sharp intake of breath. Dawn was looking at Xander’s back.

“Oh God, Spike.” Dawn whispered in shock.

Willow woke up. She’d been sleeping for the past two hours. Her back hurt and she really needed to pee. She opened her eyes and the first thing she focused on was Xander’s back. His skin a map of pain and torture.

“You bastard. Spike you bastard!” she started yelling “You get your hands off him right now! Dawn get away from him. Oh Goddess look at him Dawn. Oh Goddess,” Willow kept babbling until she felt a sharp pain on her cheek. Stunned she looked up into Dawn’s blue eyes.

“Get a grip Willow. Spike didn’t do that and if you can’t figure that out then you’re stupid. Do you really think Angel would even let Spike near Xander if it was him. And also chip!” Dawn returned to her task of washing Xander’s back with a muttered “Stupid much?”

\-------------------------------------------

“I called Riley,” Buffy notice that Angel was growling. “He worked for the Initiative, Angel. But the second he realised what they were doing he helped us instead. Maybe he can give us some info about what happened to Xander.”

Angel nodded. He didn’t like it but Buffy was right. They couldn’t afford to be picky right now.

\--------------------------------------------------

They all gathered in the living room. Beth was sleeping on Xander’s chest with Spike hovering protectively over them.

“We had a little talk with Willy and he says that there’s a rumour about a group of demons, like the ones we fought in the cemetery, in town. They’re looking for God’s Promise,” Angel said.

“We any closer to knowing what the hell that is?” Gunn asked.

Angel turned his attention to the two ex-watchers. “Have you had any luck?” The vampire sat down on the edge of the couch. God he was so tired. The two men looked at each other and Giles cleared his throat

“Yes, well we investigated the possible connection to the Bible but I’m afraid that was in vain. Not a single one of the promises mentioned had any resembles to the one in…eh” They still hadn’t told the others about the prophecy “the one in the information you had previously gathered.”

“We did however find several references to God’s Promise in other texts. Mostly ancient demonic texts but they all spoke of the Promise as a very powerful being. Powerful but innocent in nature.”

“Gunn I know this isn’t LA but…any word on the streets about this mess?”

“Not much, Angel. There’s a lot less vamps out there,” Gunn said and Buffy nodded “but nothing else.”

“So we’re assuming that they feed on the vamps?” Cordy asked.

“Yes and things have been quiet for awhile now…so maybe they’ve been in town longer then we thought,” Buffy said.

“We could use a locator spell,” Willow said from her chair “Find this Promise. It’s easy we just need…”

“No!” Spike, Angel, Wesley and Giles said.

“Um guys?” Fred was staring at the floor furthest away from the group. They all turned and looked.

On the floor was Xander. Curled up and naked. He was shaking and muttering. The sound of a heavy door opening came from somewhere far away.

“Yeah. I’m telling you this one is the best. Human, warm not like those fucking vamps and cute.”

“Come on man what if they find out? I don’t wanna get caught.”

“You won’t,” the voices came closer.

“He won’t tell?”

“Fuck no. He barely talks,” two men in green uniforms walked in. The tallest of them knelt down next to Xander’s head. He looked into the boy’s dilated eyes. “Yeah this’ll work great. They drugged him today. Not too much...he’ll still react but he can’t fight.”

“You wanna go first?” The other man asked.

“No man. You go ahead. My treat,” both men started unbuckling their belts. Xander started whining.

“Leave,” Spike said.

“Oh God! Oh God Please!” Willow was begging.

“Everyone bloody hell leave!” Spike was growling and in game face now.

Angel turned and looked at the humans. “Do as he says! Leave! Cordy take Beth with you,” Everyone scrambled out of the room. Leaving only an unconscious Xander, Spike, Angel and a tied-up Willow behind. Both vampires studied the soldiers intently. They would find them. William the Bloody and Angelus knew how to keep a human alive through weeks and months of torture. They both noticed Willow’s sobbing and Angel turned to look at her.

“Are you close enough to get a good look?” He walked over to the crying girl. Leant forward and whispered in her ear “Is this what you’re so anxious to know about? See how his hands clench and twitch. If you pay attention you can see the tears running down his cheek.”

Willow frantically shook her head “No, no no please, Angel. Don’t make me watch any more,” She started shivering. Angel grabbed the chair and turned her away from the awful sight. Willow could hear Xander‘s muffled whining and the two soldiers moaning. “You don’t deserve to share his pain. You’re not part of his pack, his family, anymore.” Angel said.


	9. Chapter 9

Cordy was washing her hands in the bathroom when she heard it. Mumbling voices. She walked out into the hallway and looked around. At the end of the dark hallway she could see a huge trashcan and some wet cardboard boxes. What the hell? Giles wasn’t a slob. As she walked closer she could hear what was being said.

“You’re real pretty…” someone moaned. Cordy stopped moving.

Xander was being pushed against the wall and he was shaking slightly.

“You cold, kid?” the man doing the pushing said as he slobbered all over Xander’s throat. Xander just shook his head. The man started kissing the edge of Xander’s mouth but he moved a little so the kisses ended up on his cheek. “How much?” the man mumbled.

“Twenty dollars,” Xander said. Cordy closed her eyes briefly hoping that the sight would be gone when she opened them again.

It wasn’t.

The man snorted “Twenty dollars! No way. You might be relatively clean and all but I’m not gonna pay that much for a blowjob,” Cordy reached out bracing herself against the hallway wall.

Xander closed his eyes and said “Ten? Can you give me ten? I-I really need the money. Please.”

“You know what? I’ll give you twenty,” Xander looked hopeful “But a blowjob won’t be enough!” A large hand found its way down to Xander’s jeans. “Come on. I’ll give you twenty-five if you let me finish in ya,” Cordy gasped when Xander just looked crestfallen and nodded.

“Gonna be sooo good,” the man moaned as he pulled Xander’s pants off and threw them on the ground. They landed in a puddle. “You know what? Forget about the blowjob…can’t wait,” Xander’s legs were pulled around the man’s hips when he was lifted up.

“There’s some lube in my pocket,” Xander said looking at his wet jeans on the ground.

“I’ll give you thirty-five if we forget about the lube,” the man looked eagerly at Xander. Cordy saw fear in her ex-boyfriend’s eyes, just a small flicker, then a resolute nod.

“O-okay.”

Cordy stood frozen as she watched the man take his pleasure. Xander would thump his head against the wall whenever the pain became too much to handle. A cacophony of moans from the man then a grunt.

“Here, kid.” the man handed Xander the money after he had zipped up his pants. Cordy and Xander both watched as the man walked out of the alley and vanished. When Cordy turned back, furiously drying the tears away, the trashcan and the cardboard boxes were gone. Xander was gone.

Cordy stumbled back to the bathroom and threw up.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Willow had been un-tied after she started screaming but she still hadn’t moved an inch. She just sat there on the chair and looked at the floor.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Wesley pinched the bridge of his nose. Ten hours straight reading and translating ancient texts. Not a single one of them of any damn use. No mention of the Promise or even something with a resemblance to it. And the infant wailing didn’t really help things. He turned and looked at Giles.

“How long now?” he asked the older man.

“Four hours,” Giles shook his head “It’s the longest memory yet.”

They both looked at the hunched figure, crumbled on the floor leaning against the wall of the study. Xander was bruised and his face was spattered with blood. He was shaking and keening. But the keening was nothing compared to the infant bundled up in dirty blankets. The poor child had been crying and wailing for hours now. Her voice, strong and insistent in the beginning, was now strained and rasping.

Cordy had taken Dawn, Beth and Fred with her. The little girl had cried and cried feeling sorry for the baby that just wouldn’t stop wailing. In the end Angel and Spike had asked Cordy to take her somewhere else. Gunn had gone with them for protection. As long as they didn’t know what the demons wanted they would all need to watch their backs.

And just like that the wailing stopped. Xander was gone. So was the distressed infant. And the two men breathed more easily and resumed their research.

\------------------------------------------------------------

“Cordy seemed upset,” Buffy said looking out the window. They would need to go patrolling soon. “I think she saw something. Something bad,” the slayer continued. “She looked like she’d been crying.”

“Must have been real bad then. She never cries,” Spike said coming from the kitchen with two mugs of warm blood in his hands. He gave one to Angel.

“I asked her but she wouldn’t tell,” Angel looked glumly at the mug.

“Riley’s going to be patrolling with us tonight,” Buffy said.

Both vampires rolled their eyes.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“Buffy called,” Riley said looking at Graham.

“Okay.”

“Look,” Riley said and sat down on the bed “She said Xander was in town,” Graham looked up.

“She say anything about…?”

“She knows he was taken by the Initiative. She said he was…Willow fucked up some spell…He’s been unconscious the last few days.”

“So they don’t know,” Graham said more firmly.

“No. I’m going to be patrolling with her tonight,” Riley looked at Graham. He seemed tired. “You…is…is he…okay?” he waved a hand at the figure on the bed. Graham smiled sadly and shook his head.

“No he isn’t,” the commando let his large hand gently caress the little boy's ridged forehead. “I think he’s sick.”


	10. Chapter 10

Angel, Spike, Gunn and Buffy were getting ready to go patrolling when someone knocked on the front door. Gunn opened it.

“Yeah?”

“Hey I’m Riley…Buffy’s boyfriend,” Riley started to walk in but was stopped by a hand pressed against his chest.

“Yeah. You’re gonna have to wait a sec,” Gunn said. Buffy came running to the door.

“Riley? Great! You’re here!” Gunn looked from the slayer to the man standing outside, shrugged and let him in. He walked into the living room where Spike and Angel were arguing. Spike was standing close to the couch. They argued back and forth until Angel said

“Enough Childe! Cordy and Wesley are here as well. Not to mention Fred and Giles.”

Gunn picked up the two duffle bags filled with weapons and walked out to the car, leaving the vampires alone. Buffy and Riley were already waiting by the car. Twenty minutes later a sulking Spike and a fuming Angel joined them.

\------------------------------------------------------------

He was feeling very uncomfortable. Standing there alone with Angel and Spike. Alone. In a dark and demon infested cemetery.

“Buffy explain what’s wrong with the boy?” Spike asked scanning the graveyard. Slowly Riley turned to face the blond vampire. Just stay calm. They can hear your heartbeat.

“Yeah. Willow fucked up,” He said, surprised that he sounded so calm.

“Wasn’t talking ‘bout that,” Spike said still not looking at Riley “Was talking ‘bout the bloody Initiative.”

Riley looked at his hands. He was holding a stake. Clutching it. It wasn’t really like he would survive attacking them. Vampire speed and all. “Yeah she said…he was pretty messed up.”

Spike growled but Riley continued “I didn’t know about it really I didn’t. Xander’s human. The Initiative wasn’t about humans. It was about demons like…”

“Like us,” Angel pointed out “And Xander might have started out as human but he isn’t any more,” The pent up rage in Angel’s voice was making Riley even more nervous.

Spike’s nostrils flared slightly and that was, thank God, the moment the demon’s decided to attack.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Riley was standing in the doorway to the living room. He watched Spike fuss with the blankets covering the unconscious Xander. He looked…good. Well he looked a little sick but the last time Riley had seen Xander he had been badly bruised and thin. Buffy had told him what had happened. About Willow screwing up. Sure the unconsciousness worked in his favour right now but what if…

“Come on Riley,” Buffy broke his chain of thought.

“Wha’?” He looked at her.

“Gunn just came back with pizzas. Come on. Eat!” She dragged him into the kitchen.

Riley found himself sitting next to a girl called Fred. Who the hell called their daughter Fred? He was eating and listening to Buffy ask Cordy about shopping in LA when Angel walked in with a little girl practically attached to his leg.

“Hey Beth,” Cordy said “Come over here,” She made room for the little girl “I made sure Gunn got you a Happy Meal,” Soon Beth was playing with the small plastic toy from her Happy Meal and everyone seemed to be more or less relaxed.

“Calm down, Xander.” They all turned to look at Riley.

“What did you say?” Buffy asked.

“What?” He hadn’t said anything but he had heard it…his voice saying those words.

Angel was frowning at him.

“I didn’t. Say anything that is…” He looked from Buffy to Gunn.

“He didn’t you know,” Fred said “He was chewing a mouthful of pizza.”

“Maybe it’s another of those memories,” Gunn suggested as he started cleaning up the mess.

“We should go tell Wesley and Giles about the patrolling,” Angel said. The vampire watched as they all left the kitchen. Riley was rinsing his coffee mug when Beth, the only other person left beside Angel, said

“You smell funny,” she looked up at him “Like Daddy’s bad dreams.”

“Beth,” Angel said standing by the door. Riley put his mug in the sink. When he looked up again Angel was staring at him. Beth took the vampire’s hand. Just before they walked out of the kitchen Angel said

“Buffy might trust you. Might believe that you’ve been…converted…But I don’t and Spike sure as hell doesn’t either.“

“Oh, fuck.” Riley whispered.

\--------------------------------------------

Graham helped the little boy get dressed.

“There you go, Jonathan. Hey you hungry?” he asked. He wouldn’t get an answer. The kid never talked. He whined and growled. He made high pitched yipping noises. But he had never said a single word.

“Come on then. Coco Pops with milk and blood coming up,” the little boy took his hand and they walked into the small kitchen. Graham lifted the boy up on the counter and started getting the food ready. Brown gold-tinted eyes followed his every move. When he took the pack of Coco Pops out and put it on the counter Jonathan yelped and whined.

“Hey! People are gonna think I don’t feed you. Calm down, okay.” He gave the boy a bowl with cereal and then proceeded to drench the Coco Pops in a mix of blood and milk. Yipping the boy started wolfing it down.

Graham studied him while he ate. His hair was dark brown, a little too long maybe, it curled by his ears. The brown eyes had flecks of gold in them. Jonathan looked up and tilted his head. Graham smiled and ruffled the boy’s unruly hair. A wide smile showed the pointy teeth and Jonathan frowned making his ridges seem more noticeable. He whined and started bouncing up and down.

“Okay, okay cartoons it is!” Graham laughed and watched as the boy jumped down on to the floor and ran into the living room. The soldier heard him yipping and growling until the TV finally showed Jonathan what he wanted to see.

\-----------------------------------------------

After discussing it with Angel and Spike the two watchers had explained about the prophecy. They had left out certain details about Beth.

“We have been reading the prophecy wrong,” Wesley announced.

“Wrong? Wrong how?” Angel asked and looked at the two men.

“It isn’t one prophecy. It’s two.”

“Okay so how should we read them then?” Buffy said leaning against the wall.

“Worlds will hang in the balance, the end of time. And a child shall come forth, a gift.” Giles quoted ”That is the first prophecy. We have, after several hours of reading, found that exact prophecy mentioned in several books.”

”So the child that will rule the house of Aurelius and this gift aren’t the same,” Cordy said.

”We believe that those two children are connected somehow but clearly not the same,” Giles said.

”Clearly,” Spike said sarcastically.

”But the rest of the prophecy…” Angel said looking at Beth. She was curled up on Spike’s lap sleeping.

”She will rule the House of Aurelius. God’s Promise will bring balance...In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. She shall be ruled by the Promise,” Wesley solemnly quoted and didn’t notice Buffy flinch.

”Those still work as one prophecy, right?” Gunn asked.

”Yes…but how exactly the ruler of the Aurelius clan and the Promise are linked is still…well,” Giles looked uncomfortable.

”You don’t have a clue,” Buffy stated.

”Quite,” the watcher answered.


	11. Chapter 11

Gunn, Wesley, Buffy, Angel and Willow were captivated by the sight of a young Xander standing in front of Angelus, blocking his way. Willow looked nervously from Xander on the couch to the younger Xander bravely protecting his friend.

”Visiting hours are over,” Xander said firmly. Angelus just smirked.

”Well, I'm pretty much family.” the vampire said and leant closer to the boy. 

”Yeah. Why don't you come back during the day?” Xander asked ”Oh, gee, no, I guess you can't.” He ironically said, still not backing down.

”Wow,” Buffy whispered and looked at Angel standing next to her. He just nodded.

”Indeed,” Wesley said remembering his own encounter with a drugged and very unsouled Angel.

”If I decide to walk into Buffy's room, do you think for one microsecond that you could stop me?” Angelus moved closer. Their faces inches apart.

”Maybe not. Maybe that security guard couldn't either. Or those cops… or the orderlies... But I'm kinda curious to find out. You game?”

Gunn snorted and said ”Balls of steel, man.”

”Buffy's White Knight. You still love her. It must just eat you up that I got there first,” the vampire mocked. 

”You're gonna die,” Xander said looking Angelus in the eyes ”And I'm gonna be there.”

\--------------------------------------------------------

“She’s asleep now,” Buffy said looking guilty.

“You did the right thing, Buffy. She needed to see things. Needs to understand that her actions have consequences,” Angel said leaning against the front door looking up at the stars.

“Yeah…still…Willow…won’t stop crying.”

“When Xander came to us…he was a complete mess. He had no control. He wasn’t really Xander. Even when he had some semblance of control over the hyena he still seemed so…” Angel looked at Buffy “Lost. Like he didn’t even know who he was anymore.”

“He still managed to take care of Beth…Cordy said she…she saw a memory…that he was...” Buffy wiped a tear away “That he was selling himself,” she looked up at Angel. She wanted him to tell her that she was wrong. That Xander Harris would never…

“He did. For her he did things that…He’s not the Xander you remember, Buffy. If you want a second chance at being his friend you need to know that,” Angel said.

Buffy nodded “Yeah.” They both looked up at the stars for a while.

“Is…um…is Spike and Xander…you know?” she waved her hand in the air.

“What? Waving?” Angel smiled.

She glared at him and slapped his shoulder. “You know what I’m talking about!” she huffed.

“They share a bed. But honestly I don’t think they do any…um…waving.”

“Oh…they should.”

“Yeah.”

\--------------------------------------------

Jonathan was curled up on the couch. He’d used up all his energy again. He didn’t seem to have much anymore. A few good hours a day and then he would fall asleep again. A year or so ago everything had been normal. Well…Jonathan-normal.

Graham lifted the boy up wanting to get him ready for bed again. There was a drop of something in the corner of the boy’s mouth. Graham wiped it away. Blood. Thick, warm blood. He looked at his fingers. His heart almost stopped when he felt a trail of something wet and warm drip down his arm.

Jonathan was bleeding. From the mouth. Graham put the boy back on the couch and started drying his bloodied lips. A trail of new blood started flowing down Jonathan’s pale cheek.

“Oh no no. Come on…don’t fucking do this,” Graham frantically started bundling him up in a blanket. He had to find Riley.

\-----------------------------------------------

They were looking at a map of Sunnydale.

“So we’ve patrolled these three cemeteries. Not a lot of vamps around but quite a few Chatana demon,” Angel said pointing out the cemeteries.

”Damn! For a smallish town ya people have a lot of graveyards,” Gunn said.

”There are quite a lot of people who succumb to barbeque fork accidents,” Giles deadpanned.

Riley pointed to one of the larger cemeteries ”There are a few sewer exits here. Maybe if…”

”Calm down Xander.”

Riley looked up. Gunn was studying him intently. ”Okay,” Gunn said ”Either you’re the world’s greatest ventriloquist or some really weird shit is happening here.”

Angel grabbed Riley’s arm and dragged him through the door and into the living room. Buffy started pulling on Angel’s arm. ”What the hell do you think you’re doing. Let him…” Buffy stopped and just stared.

Part of the floor was white concrete in stead of the beautiful blue carpet that normally covered it. The walls were white but strangely enough the watcher’s art and family pictures still hung in their usual places. But what shocked her the most was the sight of Xander being held by Riley. Xander’s eyes were closed.

“Dr. Jennesy says you had a rough night after the treatment yesterday,” Riley said holding on to Xander’s shoulders. Xander just snorted.

“She says you’re healing real fast now. Faster then they thought you would.”

Xander seemed to curl up on himself when he said “Don’t wanna…please,” then he suddenly started laughing. His voice high pitched. Not really human.

Riley looked to the side ”You’re gonna have to hold him still.”

Two men in uniforms stepped out of thin air and grabbed Xander’s arms and legs. Spike and Angel started snarling. Riley hissed when Angel’s fingers dug deeper into his arm.

Riley took a syringe and injected something in Xander’s upper arm. The two other men stepped back and dissolved into nothing.

Xander mumbled and started rocking back and forth. “Hush-a-bye baby, on the tree top. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,” Riley looked upset and his fingers seemed to sink deeper into Xander’s shoulder.

”Maybe we should give him something to knock him out?” Riley said looking straight ahead.

”No,” someone said. ”It would interfere with the experiment,” a woman appeared in front of Riley. ”As it is we are already finding it hard to control the hyena. He’ll fall asleep eventually. We can’t sedate him as long as he’s part of the experiment,” Spike was in game face and snarling. ”And that won’t be finished for three month maybe more,” the woman continued.

Xander started whining and said ”Sshhh,” the doctor and Riley turned to look at him.

”’S gonna be alright…No more bad smells…When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And down will come baby, cradle, and all.”

Then nothing. They were all quiet. Until Angel slammed Riley against the wall.


	12. Chapter 12

Angel grabbed Riley by the throat. Spike started coming closer but Angel stopped him.

“Don’t William! The chip. We need you too much,” Spike reluctantly nodded and slowly moved back a few steps. He kept growling and his golden eyes never left Riley.

“Yeah?” Cordy said stalking over to Angel and Riley “Well I’m not chipped!” She slapped Riley so hard that the imprint of her hand immediately became visible.

“Hey!” Buffy yelled, finally snapping out of it. She grabbed Cordy and pushed the ex-cheerleader away. “Let Riley go!” she demanded and glared at Angel.

“Are ya completely daft, stupid bint?!” Spike roared. He still didn’t approach Riley but his hands were clenched into fists.

“You…you…” they turned to look at Willow “You knew about this. You…you told me not to worry, Riley. That Xander probably just needed time…that he would write another letter or…or come back when he found what he was looking for,” she seemed completely disappointed. Riley couldn’t meet her eyes.

“I-I-I had to do it they…I just followed orders,” he gasped when Angel pressed harder around his throat.

“Says the Nazi!” Spike snarled.

“But you didn’t know! Right? You didn’t know what they would do to him,” Buffy pleaded.

“You were the one who told me about the hyena and the swim team and the soldier…” Riley tried to defend himself. Buffy gasped.

“Please Angel…I believe it would be best if we all calmed down…” Giles attempted.

“Actually I don’t think so,” Angel said slamming Riley against the wall again.

They all started yelling at each other. Gunn noticed Beth standing quietly in a corner, her brown eyes filled with tears. He walked over to her and lifted her up.

“Guys!” he yelled trying to get their attention. “Hey!” Nobody noticed him. He shook his head and took the distressed little girl with him into the study and closed the door. Her small arms were wrapped around his neck.

Outside, in the living room, Riley was starting to feel light-headed. It was hard to breathe. The yelling and cursing flowed around him and he was starting to see black spots when the front door was ripped open and someone yelled

“Riley! Fuck I think he’s dying. There’s blood all over the fucking place.”

The hands around his neck disappeared and he fell to his knees.

\--------------------------------------------

Gunn was sitting with Beth holding her tight and trying to comfort her. “Sshhhh Beth. It’s gonna be okay…ssshhhh,” he wasn’t really sure it was helping. They could still hear everybody yelling and screaming in the living room. All of the sudden they went quiet. 

Beth looked up into his eyes and said “He’s here.”

\----------------------------------------------

“Graham?” Riley wheezed from the floor. He attempted to get up but Angel pushed him back down. Spike was growling and took a few steps closer when Beth ran past him.

“No, pet!” he tried to stop her but she slipped by him. She stopped when she was at the front door. Angel and Spike both moved to protect her but stopped when Beth said

“He’s here,” she looked up at Graham. The soldier cradled the unconscious Jonathan closer to his chest.

“Don’t be sad we’ll help him,” Beth touched his leg. Graham slowly walked into the house and Spike caught a familiar scent. He reached out grabbing Angel’s arm. Spike turned and looked at the older vampire. Angel frowned but then his eyes widened in recognition.

Both vampires watched as Graham walked over to the couch. Graham looked uncertain. Xander was still sleeping there and there wasn’t enough room for the child.

“It’s okay. Put him here,” Beth put her small chubby hand on her Daddy’s chest. Graham looked at everyone else in the room. They all seemed to be following his every move. He swallowed and gently pulled the blanket off Jonathan and let it fall to the floor. He knelt down and put the bleeding child on Xander’s chest.

Graham hadn’t noticed it but the two vampires must have moved. Spike was looming over him, confused eyes fixed on Jonathan’s face.

“See Spike. He’s like me,” Beth touched the ridges on her own forehead then those on Jonathan’s.

\--------------------------------------------------

“So what you’re saying is that he’s Result 1,” Angel said looking first at Graham then Riley.

“I was ordered to eliminate him,” Graham said “then dump the body. He…I think he was a few weeks old.”

“He wasn’t what they wanted,” Riley interrupted Graham “He couldn’t blend in with humans. He always looks like that. Game face. Always.”

“So wha’ did ya do?” Spike asked, he was still kneeling next to the couch. Staring at the small boy.

“We…look…we…It doesn’t really matter right now…he’s sick. He’s weak and sick and…” Graham swallowed the lump forming in his throat “I think he’s dying.”

“What’ve you been feeding him?” Angel asked. Beth usually ate normal amounts of food but had to be fed by both Spike and Xander several times a day.

“Food and pig’s blood,” Graham answered. Spike growled.

“Isn’t strange that he’s sick an’ weak. Pig’s blood! Beth get’s sick if we feed her that shite,” Spike resolutely bit into his wrist and gently pushed it against the boys mouth. Jonathan immediately latched on and started feeding. Beth kept making small noises to sooth her brother.

“I-I’ve been feeding him like that, pig’s blood I mean, since I got him…Almost four years,” Graham looked guilty and heartbroken.

“Daddy,” Beth whispered but she wasn’t looking at her daddy sleeping on the couch. Her eyes were fixed on something behind Angel, close to the stairs. Angel slowly turned. He clenched his fists in anger.

Xander was propped against the wall, shivering and covered in bruises and barely healed wounds. A drop of blood slowly trailed its way down from his ear. Xander attempted to clear his throat and said

“She isn’t coming is she?” his voice was a rasping whisper. As if he had damaged it. Screamed until he had almost lost it.

“Who?” Riley’ disembodied voice asked and then he appeared in front of Xander. Riley knelt down and put a tray on the floor. He wasn’t looking at Xander.

“B-buffy,” Xander croaked and reached out touching the small piece of bread on the tray. His hands shaking so much that he let them fall down in his lap.

Riley seemed frozen but then said “No,” he got up, eyes focusing on something just above Xander’s head “No she’s not.”

As the sight of Xander disappeared there was complete silence. It was only broken by Buffy’s sobbing.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Angel watched as Spike checked that the rope binding Riley to the chair was tight enough. A bruise was forming on Riley’s cheek. Who would have thought that Giles could hit that hard?

“Hey that hurts,” Riley complained but shut up when Angel growled at him. The souled vampire turned to look at the others.

“So…I guess we need to come clean on a few things,” he said and scratched his neck. “Beth is Xander’s. We didn’t lie about that…only she’s Spike’s as well,” his audience started talking and asking questions.

“Okay. Okay. Look I’ll give you the abridged version. Spike and Xander were both captured by the Initiative,” he glared at Graham standing by the door and then at Riley “Their DNA was used to impregnate a young woman with a vampire-human-hybrid. They had two results. The first result didn’t live up to the Initiative’s expectations.”

They all looked at the small boy sleeping on Xander’s chest. His pale skin had a healthier colour to it now that he had fed from both Spike and Angel. Occasionally he yipped or whined in his sleep and every time Beth would giggle.

“I…I took care of him. At first I did it alone but eventually Riley helped,” Graham said.

“The Initiative decided to try again,” Angel continued looking at Beth. “This time they succeeded.”

“We were starting to find a way to get Xander out of there but then he escaped on his own,” Riley explained, eyes glued to the floor.

“A transport was attacked by a group of demons and he got away with Beth,” Graham said.

“You tried to help him?” Buffy sounded hopeful and looked at Riley.

“They started experimenting on Beth…I just couldn’t…” the commando looked down.

“We were planning an escape when they decided to relocate him,” Graham said “All of the sudden we were out of the loop…none of the information was any damn good. We couldn’t even find out where they’d taken him.”

“And when we finally located him they moved him again…only he got away,” Riley elaborated.

“What’s his name?” Cordy asked and pointed to the sleeping boy.

“Jonathan,” Graham said and smiled.

“Beth and Jonathan. Jonathan and Beth,” Beth sing-songed.

“Oh dear!” Giles said abruptly getting up and out of his chair. “Oh dear I think I might have the solution for the prophecies,” the watcher said and ran into his study.


	13. Chapter 13

Giles was earnestly looking through book after book telling Wesley not to interrupt him or get in the way. When Angel asked what was going on he simply received a “Not now…I need to concentrate.”

So they all just sat in the living room. Riley tied up and not looking in Buffy’s direction. Graham would check up on Jonathan every few minutes and Spike would hover near the couch. Growling if he thought the soldier got too close for comfort.

“He looks better,” Graham said quietly and pulled the blanket tighter around the sleeping boy. Spike’s hands twitched slightly. The boy yipped in his sleep and there was a giggle from the proximity of Xander’s feet.

“Go to sleep, Bit.” Spike chuckled and moved over to stroke Beth’s blond curls. She was curled up by Xander’s feet bundled up in a blanket. The little girl just giggled again. Graham moved away and walked into the kitchen.

“He makes funny sounds,” she mumbled sleepily hugging Mister Fang closer to her chest. “He’s like Daddy…” Beth continued “Smells like rain and grass…and and…” she was falling asleep “sadness…” she finished, closing her eyes.

\-----------------------------------------------

Graham was fighting for control. Jonathan had never been his. Graham wasn’t stupid. He’d known that something would happen sooner or later. And still he had done the stupidest thing. He had cared. Through nights of feeding and pacing and generally just wanting to sleep.

He had told himself that he wouldn’t. He was a soldier. He had told himself to look at it as just another mission. But oh how fucked up was it that he actually loved the little kid. The whole yipping-whining-Coco Pops loving-wordless package.

He rested his head against the wall and tried to breath deep. He needed at least some measure of control before he walked into the other room again.

\-------------------------------------------

“I would like to start by repeating the prophecies,” Giles began and Spike groaned but shut up when the watcher glared at him. They had all gathered in the study when Giles had finally allowed them in.

“The first prophecy: Worlds will hang in the balance, the end of time. And a child shall come forth, a gift.” The watcher looked around at the people, demons and humans, assembled in his small study.

”The important word here is gift,” Giles said and continued ”But I’ll come back to that. The second prophecy: She will rule the House of Aurelius. God’s Promise will bring balance...In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. She shall be ruled by the Promise,” Giles cleared his throat ”Here you need to focus on the words God’s Promise.”

They all nodded as if they understood. Spike shifted impatiently. Xander, Beth and Jonathan were alone in the living room. If he turned he could see the couch they were sleeping on through the door but still…

”Jonathan is a Hebrew name. In the Bible Jonathan, the son of King Saul, saved David’s life when Saul tried to kill him…” Giles took his glasses of and started wiping them clean ”Jonathan means gift…gift of God. I believe the first prophecy refers to the boy.” The watcher but the glasses down on the table. Suddenly they all had something to say but Giles simply continued, forcing them to be quiet.

“Beth is short for Elisabeth. Also of Hebrew origin. In the Bible she was the mother of John the Baptist,” Giles breathed deeply and said “Elisabeth means God’s Promise,” he looked at his audience “She is the one who will bring balance and, although I still have no idea how, will rule the Slayer,” Giles looked apologetically at Buffy.

Everyone started asking questions.

\---------------------------------------------------

Spike and Angel were watching Jonathan and Beth play tag.

The gift and the promise. Beth a blond, brown eyed girl who loved Twinkies and her Mister Fang. Jonathan a dark-haired, dark-eyed boy who yipped and yelped when he got excided.

Prophecy material.

Every time Beth caught the boy he would yelp happily. Then he would start chasing Beth. Jonathan was fast and agile. He seemed to move on instinct more than thought and he delighted in the chase itself. He looked a lot like Xander and it was most noticeable whenever his face split in a wide grin.

It was hard to believe that only a day or so ago the little boy had been at Death’s door. Dawn was playing as well and kept laughing every time the boy started yipping.

Graham walked into the room and watched Jonathan play for awhile.

“I…um,” Graham said looking at the two vampires “Look I…” he was interrupted by Jonathan. The little boy was whining and it grew louder and louder. “I think he’s… hungry,” the soldier said looking sad.

“Come here then,” Spike called. Jonathan ran over to them. He looked from Graham to Angel to Spike.

“You feed him, Peaches. Need ta have a word with soldier boy.”

Angel nodded and reached out, lightly touching the boy’s hip. Jonathan yelped happily and crawled up on the older vampire’s lap.

\---------------------------------------------------

The sun had just set and the street was quiet. Spike sat down on the stairs and Graham joined him. They just sat in silence watching the stars slowly appear in the dark sky.

“Must be hard to see him like that…connecting with others,” Spike began “But you need to know…if he’s anything like Xander he’s been lonely. They need a pack, a family, ta belong to. Ain’t saying you didn’t take care of him...” Spike was interrupted by Graham.

“You’ll take him with you back…when you leave I mean,” it wasn’t a question. Graham stared at his feet. He needed to stay calm. He needed…

“Yeah. He doesn’t belong with you…Ya can’t feed him right. You tried but it weren’t enough,” Spike looked straight at the soldier. “You could have killed him. You were ordered to. Why didn’t you?”

Graham swallowed and reluctantly meet Spike’s blue eyes. “He was just a kid. A baby. He hadn’t hurt anyone…Just a kid,” he finished.

“Yeah,” Spike said, got up and walked to the front door “So was Xander.”

\--------------------------------------------------

They were in the middle of a big discussion of how exactly they could protect the children and still get rid of the demons when it happened. 

At first it was just disembodied voices. Snippets of conversations.

”Hey, Jesse, what's what?”

”New Girl!”

”Why don't you pick on somebody your own species?”

”What, are you gonna get in my face? ”

Then gradually shapes started to form not just one or two but so many that the whole house felt crowded. Spike watched as a young Xander, nervous and reeking of fear spoke with another boy.

”We can't fight our way back through those things. What do we do?” Xander looked around.

”I got an idea,” the other boy said and Xander turned to look at him. In that exact moment the boy vamped out and said ”You can die!”

Two new shapes started to materialise and walked through the two boys, erasing them.

”I wasn't looking at your neck!” an irritated Angel said looking at Xander.

”I told you to eat before we left,” was the only reply the Master vampire got.

They heard Dawn yelling from the bathroom and then the sound of her feet as she ran down the stairs. She stopped in the living room and looked at Buffy and Gunn. ”Xander…” she panted ”I was gonna p-pee but he was just standing there looking at the wall. Freaked me out,” she said and blushed.

The cacophony grew louder. Screams and begging.

 

”Please please…don’t…don’t...” Xander’s voice was cracked with overuse. Tears on its border.

“We will need to drain him almost completely then give him transfusions,” a man, dressed in white said, bending over a curled up Xander. Two other men nodded and started writing something on their clipboards. “It might turn him,” the first man continued ”but I doubt it. We will have to monitor him closely though.”

The voice of a man coaxing ”You can’t tell your Dad about this or your Mom. You just keep this little secret between you and me. You wanna make uncle Rory happy, don’t ya?”

The scent of grass and wilderness and sun scorched earth filled the room and a low growling made them all turn toward the kitchen door. Jonathan started whining and clutched Graham’s hand. Beth grabbed on to Spike’s shirt. An animal hurried out of the door.

”Hyena,” Wesley whispered almost reverently as the animal yipped and ran through the room only to disappear as suddenly as it had appeared.

”Jesse, man! Don't make me do it. Jesse! I know there's still a part of you in there,” Xander pleaded from somewhere by the stairs.

A man screamed as he was disembowelled by an out of control Xander who kept repeating ”Mine! Mine! Mine!” His hands dripping with blood and gore. A burning jeep standing close. The distraught cries of an infant filling the air.

The screams and pleads slowly grew fewer and fewer until there was only one memory playing out. Xander crouching, hands dripping with blood, scenting the air. He scanned the room. Eyes briefly lingering on Spike. Then he looked straight at Riley, still tied to the chair, and growled.

”Guys?” They all turned around and watched as Xander slowly pulled the blankets away. He got up from the couch and stared at his blood drenched twin.

”This is seriously giving me the wiggins,” he said ”What the fuck is going on?!”


	14. Chapter 14

They all just stood there. Confused. They watched as Xander, still crouching on the floor, slowly got up and stared at them. His nostrils flared and his green eyes seemed to pick up every detail.

”Um guys?” was all Xander, standing by the couch, managed to say before he was jumped. They watched as the two Xanders fought and rolled around on the floor. Suddenly the fighting stopped and the predatory Xander had his face pushed against Xander’s neck, started nuzzling it and making low keening noises.

”Pack,” a raspy voice moaned.

”O-okay,” Xander said looking pleadingly up at Spike ”Um…um…good Xander,” he started petting the dark and dirty haired creature snuggling into his neck and shoulder.

”What the fuck is this? The Twilight Zone?” Gunn asked.

”Major wiggins,” they heard Xander mumble.

\---------------------------------------------------------

”Hey stop that,” Xander yelped when the other Xander started licking his neck. ”Ew drool!” he muttered wiping it away.

”Okay,” Cordy said ”Xander is sitting here with Xander, who’s into licking people. Right?”

”Right,” Wesley said confused. ”Perhaps we need to find a way to tell them apart?”

”Xander’s middle name is Lavelle,” Willow said helpfully ”maybe we could…”

”NO!” both Xanders yelled.

”How ’bout this. We call him,” Spike pointed at the still blood spattered Xander ”Hyena. And the other one we just call Xander.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------

”So,” Spike said ”Not that I’m not enjoying my double dose of Xander,” he said as the Hyena tried to climb into his lap ”but…What the bleeding hell is going on?!”

”Willow’s spell,” Giles said rubbing his tired eyes watching Xander reach out and touch the Hyena’s cheek and then look at his fingers in pure wonder.

”Willow used a spell or at least part of a spell - and may I add that she did it rather badly?” Wesley said glaring at a sulking Willow ”She used a spell in her potion that would separate certain parts of Xander’s personality. She believed it would make Xander remember everything. Even the things he had suppressed.”

”Stupid daft barmy cow,” Spike snarled making Willow shrink in her seat.

”Well…It seems that the spell separated Xander into two entities,” Giles attempted to explain. ”One is Xander with most of his human traits, he still remembers what happened, still remembers Beth and the past five months. The other part is the Hyena. A Primal spirit. A demon that has been a part of Xander for many years now.”

”Is it permanent?” Angel asked and wearily eyed the growling and snarling Hyena.

”I…” Giles began ”We have no idea what so ever. But Xander still drinks blood so he isn’t completely human. Only the Hyena has been separated from him.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------

The Hyena’s attention was drawn to voices coming from the study. He was sitting on the floor with Xander, Beth and Jonathan. The little girl kept showing him things he didn’t understand. He got up and walked closer to the voices. Someone was arguing. A female and…the alpha. Pack leader.

”He’s staying right there,” the alpha said.

”He doesn’t need to be tied up, Angel. He isn’t…”

”Isn’t what, Buffy? Dangerous? He helped the Initiative kidnap and torture Xander. Isn’t that…”

”He didn’t know they’d do those things. He didn’t know,” the female said sounding as if she needed to convince herself.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Wow,” Xander said looking over at Hyena “This is like some really lame sci-fi movie from the 80’s.” He couldn’t help giggling. It was just so bizarre. Then he grew more solemn “Is…is Beth all right?” he asked anxiously. Spike nodded and reached out touching Xander’s shoulder.

“You dealing?” Spike asked looking first at Xander then the Hyena. Xander turned and looked at the predator and said

“He freaks me out, Spike. Seeing him like that. Separated…I don’t…” he stopped talking when the Hyena joined them by the couch. The Hyena tilted his head and looked uncertainly at Spike. He opened his mouth and was about to say something when Willow, Buffy and Angel came in. Growling came from the Hyena when he noticed Willow and his green eyes flashed.

“Peaches, might not be a good idea ta bring the witch.” Spike pointed out and both vampires looked at Willow. Her shoulders slumped as she left the room.

“Not pack,” the Hyena snarled at her retreating back.

“Definitely not pack,” Xander mumbled.

Cordy walked in, looked at Xander and said “You know you look kinda sexy like that,” Xander looked down at his clothes and frowned. “No you moron! Not you!” she mocked teasingly and pointed to the Hyena “Him. All dark and sexy.”

The Hyena looked up, grinned and started licking the flaking and dried up blood off his hands.

“Okay!” Cordy shuddered “Forget what I said.”

“Can I see Beth?” Xander asked but was shoved away by the Hyena.

“Beth!” he demanded while he sniffed Spike’s neck.

\------------------------------------------------

Spike was standing in the bathroom staring at his…well…not staring at his reflection. Angel had finally decided that they all needed time to absorb the turn of events and the LA crew had returned to their motel.

Beth and Jonathan were sleeping in Cordy’s room. Xander and the Hyena were in there now tucking both children in and making sure they were safe.

Spike hadn’t been happy about leaving Riley back at the watcher’s house. Even though he was tied to a chair. Even though Gunn had stayed behind to make sure soldier boy didn’t escape. Spike rested his forehead against the mirror and closed his eyes.

A warm body pressed against his back. Hands around his waist. Strong fingers gently rubbed his stomach. A scent of grass and rain filled his nostrils and a low purring sound made shivers run down his spine.

“Mate,” Hyena whispered “Pack,” his warm breath ghosting over Spike’s neck. The vampire turned in the embrace and looked into green feral eyes. A lock of dark hair fell into the Hyena’s eyes. Spike reached up end let his hand run through the hair making the Hyena nuzzle his palm. Spike closed his eyes again. Hyena put his arms around Spike's shoulders, lips kissing his neck and shoulder. That scorching heat so close to his body. Warm fingers caressing his lower back.

Suddenly he felt another pair of hands on his thighs, running up and down. He opened his eyes and looked down into Xander’s dark brown eyes. The younger man was kneeling on the bathroom floor. Spike turned his head slightly and saw the Hyena watch Xander as well. The vampire was startled when he felt warm lips on his. Hyena moaned into Spike’s open cool mouth and moved impossibly closer.

His jeans were getting too tight and with a hiss of pleasure he felt them sliding down his hips. Hyena stopped kissing him and licked his pulse point instead. Spike looked down at Xander again. Xander smiled and slowly licked his lips.

“Aahh…bloody hell,” Spike moaned. Hyena sniggered and started to run his hands through the vampire’s hair and kissing him at the same time. Spike bumped the back of his head against the wall. He needed to be quiet. Couldn’t have the little ones waking up. A loud moan escaped his clenched teeth when Xander’s hot, wet mouth surrounded him.

Spike fleetingly wondered how Xander could know all the secret spots to touch and lick. They had never done this before. The Hyena bit down on Spike’s pulse point and growled. Spike grabbed on to the sink next to him so hard his knuckles were white. Xander’s lips were tight around him and he couldn‘t help it. He made a few desperate thrusts of his hips. Xander just let him. 

“Fuck fuck fuck, X-xander.”

“Shut him up,” Xander huskily whispered to the Hyena.

\------------------------------------------------

Xander woke up and stretched. His arm bumped into Spike. Xander let a hand run through the blond vampire’s hair. He looked to the other side of the bed expecting to see the Hyena but only found rumbled up covers. Xander cursed quietly not wanting to wake Spike and started dressing.

\-----------------------------------------------

Xander was driving through Sunnydale. He wasn’t sure why or how but he knew where the Hyena was headed. He just needed to make sure he found him before he reached his goal.

A flash of green eyes made Xander slow down and finally stop the car. He got out and said

“You can’t go there, you know.” No reaction. Xander started moving closer but stopped when he heard

“Hurt…her…us. Hurt us!” the Hyena whined. He walked closer to Xander and reached out, touching Xander’s cheek. Green eyes met brown. “Hurt you,” the hand slowly slid from his cheek to his chest. “Can’t,” the Hyena tried “can’t get it out. Make it better…hurts.”

Xander grabbed the warm hand and held on to it tightly. “You can’t go there,” he repeated. The Hyena looked down at their joined hands and started whining. The sound eerily saddening.

“Not alone,” Xander whispered clutching the hand in his harder.

And he turned around and walked back to the car and got in. The Hyena stood still for a few seconds. Nostrils flaring, tilted his head and intently studied Xander’s face. Then he seemed to come to a decision and got in the car.

They drove in silence for awhile until the Hyena said

“Riley.”

“Yeah…“ Xander agreed “Riley.”


	15. Chapter 15

Riley shifted uncomfortably on the chair. The rope was chafing the skin on his wrists. His back hurt and his shoulders were numb. He tried to shift a little to the right. If he could just get his hand a little to the…

“Don’t,” a voice growled in the dark. Riley froze. He tried to get his hand free again. There was the sound of movement and then

“You should really do as he says…You wouldn't like him when he’s angry,” an amused voice said.

Someone sniggered and made a high pitched whining sound. Riley felt the air move and he held his breath. He yelped when strong hands grabbed him by the throat.

”Not yet…” the amused voice said ”Not that fast. That would be too easy on him.”

The lights were turned on and Riley felt like screaming when he looked straight into a pair of wild green eyes inches from his own. Someone moved closer and gently removed the hands from Riley’s neck. The Hyena took a few steps back and looked at Xander.

”We want him to last as long as possible,” Xander said looking at the Hyena and then at Riley ”He should have to…to,” Xander shivered and the Hyena stepped closer to the young man and touched his shoulder and purred. They looked at each other for a few seconds then Xander turned his attention back to Riley.

”You ever wonder what it was like? The treatments…the t-torture…did you?”

Riley knew that his life depended on what he said now. Xander wouldn’t kill him. But the Hyena was an animal and not even Xander would be able to keep him in line for long. The Hyena moved closer to Xander and ended up with his face pressed against Xander’s neck. Xander closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His hand came up and rested on the Hyena’s arm. Seeking comfort.

”You saw me…after,” Xander said, his eyes closed ”You saw the bruises, the cuts and scars. I remember how you…You held me down and…” his voice trailed off.

The Hyena looked straight at Riley and pulled something out of his pocket.

A knife.

Xander reached out and slowly let his fingers tighten around the handle and looked down at the floor. The Hyena rumbled and growled until Xander patted his hand. Xander walked over to Riley and slowly, meticulously started cutting Riley’s sleeve off his shirt.

”Xander…w-what’re you doing?” Riley frantically tried to move away from the knife but couldn’t. It only made the rope cut deeper into his wrists.

”Some times I would fantasize. If the pain got to be too much…you know…” Xander said. Riley could hear the Hyena whimper in the background but he didn’t look up. His eyes were fixed on the knife slicing through the fabric of his grey shirt. Then the sleeve was cut completely off and Xander absentmindedly let it fall to the floor.

”They almost never used anaesthetics…Did you know that?” Xander paused as if waiting for Riley to answer then continued ”You reach a point when the pain, as excruciating as it is, becomes normal. Y-you get used to it. And that scared me to death…that feeling of…as if I couldn’t really feel…anything anymore.” The tip of the knife rested against the soft skin on Riley’s upper arm.

”That’s when I would do it. Fantasize that is. About anything at all. Jesse and Larry. Always returned to those…the ones with Larry…sometimes I’d remember…my parents…not that they were happy memories,” Xander chuckled ”But right then, as they were cutting into me, even getting yelled at or hit by my Dad would seem better than…” Xander’s hand started to shake and the Hyena appeared next to him. His hand reaching out settling on top of Xander’s, helping him slowly cut into Riley’s arm.

The pain was excruciating. He flinched, his body tightening and his eyes closing in an attempt to not scream. A low whimper forced it’s way past closed lips. Finally the pain lessened and he looked up into Xander’s eyes. Xander looked baffled. As if the fact that there would be blood hadn’t crossed his mind.

The cut was a perfect rectangle.

The Hyena gently pushed Xander out of the way. Touched the wound and slowly pushed a nail into the edge of the cut. Riley started shaking but he couldn’t take his eyes off the blood that slowly trickled down his arm. The Hyena pinched an edge of the ruined skin between his thumb and index finger and pulled. Hard and fast.

Riley screamed when the rectangle of skin was ripped off his arm and he thought he would pass out. He watched Gunn enter the room and sighed in relief. He would stop this madness. He wouldn’t allowed this to continue. But Gunn just looked first at Xander then at the Hyena. When Riley saw him turn to walk out of the room he pleaded and begged him to help him. The man just looked over his shoulder and said

”I just promised to make sure you didn’t escape. Didn’t promise that I wouldn’t let Hyena boy here have a go at ya,” Gunn looked at Xander for a second and frowned. “You okay there, Xander?” he asked.

“I-I…” a few deep breaths “I’m o…I need to do this,” he finally answered and waved in Riley’s direction.

“Yeah. Look I get that. But…” Gunn tried.

“Leave,” the Hyena growled. Gunn looked at Xander again.

“I’m okay,” Xander said. Gunn nodded and left.

Riley started pulling on the ropes and cursing. The Hyena walked over to him and let his fingers run through the trail of blood on Riley’s arm. 

Xander said “I kept hoping. That they would come for me,” the Hyena started licking the warm crimson blood off his fingers. Xander’s eyes followed every flick of the tongue. “I stopped hoping after awhile. Didn’t really take that long. Losing hope. And then I lost myself. Disappeared somewhere after they drained me. Always wondered where it went. That part that I would’ve call my soul.”

Xander reached out and started stroking the Hyena’s back. “Do you think I still have one?” he asked Riley. The Hyena was making small snuffling noises.

“I…you’re h-h-human,” Riley found the words.

Xander started to laugh the Hyena joined in with a yipping cackle. “Come on, Riley. You don’t even believe that,” Xander said shaking his head. “I haven’t been human for years. I stopped being human when you stopped treating me like one,” Xander knelt in front of Riley. “I stopped being human the first time your friends raped me,” the Hyena started growling.

“X-xander, I-I’m bleeding I-I didn‘t know...” but Xander didn’t hear Riley’s pleas.

“And that actually helped. Not being human. It helped when I had to…” Xander looked ashamed “Had to do things…Who the hell am I trying to kid?” he asked and continued with more determination “It helped whenever I was on my hands and knees sucking cock or taking it up the ass!” Riley looked away.

“No! You don’t get to do that!” Xander yelled “You don’t get to look embarrassed or ashamed. Not you. You get to listen! It was really simple once I forgot about pride and self-worth. I would be on my knees gagging and they wouldn’t care because…because I wasn’t human to them. I was just a piece of ass they’d paid for. They didn’t care why I did it. They didn’t care why I was covered in scars. All they cared about was how much they would have to pay for it.”

Xander turned when he heard the floorboards creak. Giles was standing there in the doorway looking straight at him. Gunn was standing behind him.

“Xander,” Giles said. The Hyena started keening and moved away from Riley. Xander couldn’t look Giles in the eyes and lowered his head. The Hyena moved restlessly between Xander and the doorway.

“Sorry…” Xander whispered. The Hyena stopped moving. He was standing next to the door and looked straight at Xander.

“Sorry,” Xander repeated and didn’t notice the Hyena growling. “I’m…“ Xander gasped “I didn’t mean…”

“NO!” The Hyena interrupted him and slammed the door in Giles’ face.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Giles stood there, next to Gunn, and stared at the door.

“We should call Angel and Spike. I don’t think anyone else will be capable of…”

His voice was cut off by the screams and pleas coming from behind the door.


	16. Chapter 16

Xander fell back on his knees, blood covering his hands. His head hurt so fucking much. There was a throbbing at the back of his head. It felt as if it was connected via a thin blazing trail of pain to the ache just above his left ear. He moaned and tried to dry the blood off on the carpet covering the floor of the study.

Riley was still tied to the toppled chair. His wide fearful eyes focusing on the blood slowly being smeared into the carpet.

“T-t-thanks…” he whispered “I-I…thanks.”

“Shut up,” Xander said, slowly crawling to the corner of the room “Shut up. Just shut up. Shutupshutup shutup,” he mumbled and started to rock back and forth holding his hands over his ears. His fingers leaving blood red smudges on his face. “Please…R-r-riley just…please s-shut up.”

Riley swallowed his words of gratitude and just waited. Sooner or later someone would come.

Sooner or later.

\-------------------------------------------------------

“Come on, Luv.” Spike said “Open the door, yeah.” Nothing. No answer, no movement.

“Did he lock the door, Giles?” Angel asked the watcher standing behind them.

“No. No the lock doesn’t work. He must have moved the table in front of the door. Blocking it,” Giles answered.

Angel looked at Spike and nodded. Spike moved back a little and then kicked the door in.

\-------------------------------------------------------

“Look Jonathan,” Beth said and waved Mister Fang in the air “This is Mister Fang and he’s really nice and cuddly and he likes blood and cupcakes and you can borrow him. If you want. But I need him back,” she said when Jonathan took the doll.

He just looked at it and then proceeded to squeeze it a few times. He seemed a little disappointed and whined quietly. Beth took Mister Fang back and looked up at Cordy.

“He don’t like Mister Fang. He just squashes it,” the little girl said and straightened the dolls black cape. Jonathan moved over to Cordy and started whining. He kept looking at the bag Graham had given them. Cordy pulled the bag closer and opened it. Jonathan tilted his head and watches with big eyes.

“Let’s see if Jonathan has a few of his own toys in here,” Cordy said remembering Graham’s sad look when he had handed Spike the bag. A loud squeak almost made her drop it. Jonathan started giggling and yipping. He reached into the bag and pulled out a doll.

It looked like a monkey. Fluffy and big eared. Jonathan squeezed it and it squeaked. He yipped and hugged it. Beth came over and looked at the toy.

There was a knock on the door. Cordy sighed and got up off the bed.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

The first thing they saw was Riley. Still tied to the chair but the chair was resting on its side. One of the chair legs has been broken off. There was blood on the floor and Riley had a few cuts and scrapes as well.

“Xander? Luv?” Spike called softly when he heard the muffled sobbing. Xander was sitting in a corner, knees pressed to his chest and hands covering his mouth. A low keening could be heard over the quiet sobbing. Xander’s hands were covered in blood. But it couldn’t be Riley’s. The soldier wasn’t injured enough for all that blood to be his.

“Xan? Where is he?” Angel asked standing behind Spike. The blond vampire was kneeling in front of the curled up man.

“Xander? Where is the Hyena? He run off?” Spike worried “He the one who’s hurt ya?”

Xander shook his head and started mumbling but his words were too low and muffled for them to hear. Spike gently moved Xander’s hands away. And a stream of babble filled the room “I-I had to stop him, S-spike. He he wanted to to…”Xander’s eyes grew big and he looked like a scare child. “He wanted to show…show…” he waved his hand in Riley’s direction “He wanted him to know what it was like…to b-b-b…to be used like…” Xander seemed to curl up tighter resting his head on his knees “He started…Riley’s clothes.”

Both vampires turned to look at Riley. His jeans were opened. The zipper had been ripped off the pants. His shirt was pulled up exposing the vulnerable soft skin of his stomach. There were bruised already forming there.

“X-xander h-he didn’t…” Riley began. But Xander just started shaking his head and cried. Spike pulled the resisting boy into a hug. Xander was shivering and mumbling incoherently.

Angel started untying Riley and helped him up. He had difficulties standing. His joints protested the movements. 

“Tell me what happened,” Angel demanded “Where’s Hyena?” 

“He…Hyena wanted to show me…Xander said that he’d been forced to sell himself…And the guards in the Initiative…” Riley turned and looked at Xander “I’m so sorry please believe me I didn’t know…I didn’t…I would never allow…They…”

“Where is the Hyena, Riley?” Angel persisted when he heard Spike growl.

“Xander told him to stop b-but he wouldn’t he…he…Then Xander and the Hyena…they started fighting and Xander kept telling him to go away that he didn’t need him…I-I…” Riley looked as if he was about to faint. Angel held on to him as he helped Riley walk over to the old armchair in the corner of the study. Riley sat down, his hands shaking.“I didn’t know…I swear to God…please I didn’t know…” he kept repeating.

“Riley I need you to concentrate,” Angel said looking down at the distraught man “Where did the Hyena go?” he asked.

“It didn’t…go anywhere. Xander stabbed him…and they were screaming at each other…and then. Then he just disappeared and Xander started bleeding,” Riley looked over at Xander and Spike “He saved my life. Angel he…he didn’t have to but he…”

Gunn and Giles entered the room and Giles said “Perhaps the separation isn’t permanent?” Angel looked at the watcher “Perhaps the separation is only temporary or even something Xander can learn to control,” Giles speculated.

“So he can send the Hyena away if he wants to…if he needs to?” Angel asked.

“I honestly don’t know,” Giles admitted “It might be a permanent ability or it might only work as long as there are still remnants of the potion in his bloodstream. But it does appear that Xander wanted the Hyena gone and succeeded in pushing it away.”

Spike helped Xander stand. He held on to the trembling human “He’s bleeding. Riley said he stabbed the Hyena when he wouldn’t listen. What would happen if the hyena was wounded and they were reunited?” Xander’s shirt was sticking to his ribs.

“Well in theory they still share the same body when united,” Giles said as they moved into the living room “Any wounds would be inflicted on the both of them when reunited,” Spike helped Xander pull off his t-shirt. The wound was shallow but still needed to be cleaned.

“We’ll need to look into this. Find out if it’s permanent and how Xander can control it,” Angel said and found his cell phone in his pocket. He called Wesley.

“He isn’t answering,” Angel said frowning.

“Try Cordy’s. Never saw her not answering her cell,” Spike said as he cleaned Xander’s wound. Gunn handed him a roll of bandages. Angel called Cordy and waited. And waited. Finally she picked up.

“Hey Cordy we need Wes…” Angel was interrupted and he looked worried “Wait…Cordy wait! What the hell do you mean they’re gone…Who?…Both of them…Are you all right?” Angel looked over at Xander and Spike “We’re coming right now! No you stay there, Cordy!” Angel put the phone in his pocket and Spike stood up and looked from Xander to Angel.

“Xander,” Angel said “We might need the Hyena…The kids are gone…”


	17. Chapter 17

Xander let his fingers run over the car seat. Beth had been sitting there when they had travelled from LA to Sunnydale. If he concentrated he could still pick up her scent. He had never understood why but she had a vague cinnamon scent. It was curled around the scent of apple shampoo and Twinkies. If he closed his eyes he could almost feel her warmth. Right there in the seat next to him.

He looked up and saw that Spike had turned in his seat and was looking at him. Xander nodded and said “I’m okay,” Spike looked unconvinced but nodded anyway.

“Call Buffy again,” Angel said to Spike. Spike took out his cell phone and dialled.

“’S Spike. Yeah. Yeah we’re on our way there…don’t know…cause I don’t…Cordy said…yeah,” Spike rolled his eyes “Look it don’t matter none…cause the kids are…yeah…bring weapons…which ones?” Spike looked at Angel. “Big ones…yeah see ya’ there,” Spike put the phone in his duster and said “Slayer’s coming an’ she’s bringing the witch along. Don’t like that,” he snarled.

“We’ll need all the help we can get. We shouldn’t have left them like that…alone,” Angel said.

“Sorry,” Xander mumbled his hand caressing the car seat next to him.

“Isn’t your fault, pet,” Spike said.

“I shouldn’t have left,” Xander said looking up and meeting blue eyes.

“An’ I shouldn’t have fallen asleep…” Spike admitted.

“Riley would’ve been dead now if you hadn’t gone with the Hyena,” Angel noticed.

“Yeah, what a loss for humanity that would have been.” Spike snorted.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Gunn looked in the rear-view mirror. Riley was staring out of the window and mumbling. Giles, who was sitting next to Gunn in the passenger seat, had bandaged the soldiers wounds and reassured him that he would be fine.

“I hope the children are all right,” the watcher said.

Gunn concentrated on driving. The sooner they arrived at the motel the sooner he could find those bastards and kick their kid-snatching-asses. He hadn’t known Jonathan for more than a few days but he knew Beth. He adored Beth. He had lived through countless tea parties where he had endured being called Miss Gunn. Far too many to just let them take her away.

\----------------------------------------------------

“Look Xander I know you don’t feel…you don’t want to let the Hyena loose again,” Angel said “He’s strong and a good fighter. We’ll need him.”

“I…okay,” Xander unexpectedly answered.

“I know it’s hard to control him and that…”

“He said okay, Peaches. No need ta carry on,” Spike groaned.

“Oh! Right…Okay,” Angel looked at Xander in the rear view mirror. ”You think you can make him appear?” the older vampire asked.

“I-I…I’ll try,” Xander said, attempting to concentrate on the Hyena.

His anger. His bloodlust. His need for the pack. And slowly…

“We’re here,” Angel announced.

Before any of them had a chance to get out of the car they heard a growl and the car door was opened by a snarling Hyena and then slammed shut. Xander sighed.

“Will he help?” Angel asked uncertainly.

“Yeah. He’s just disappointed,” Xander nodded and looked out the window at the scowling Hyena waiting for them a few feet from the car. “He waited four years to get his hands on Riley…He’ll help…they’re pack.”

\------------------------------------------------------

“Well, it’s about fucking time!” Cordy yelled when they entered the motel room. There was a deep gash on her cheek. It wasn’t bleeding anymore but it still looked bad. Cordy looked pissed off for a few seconds but then she started crying. 

The men just stood there dumb-founded. The Hyena looked at the other three men and slowly moved over to the distraught pack member. He made low rumbling soothing noises. Cordy hugged the Hyena close and didn’t seem to notice his complete surprise.

“Um…Cordy?” Angel tentatively asked. He looked pleadingly at Spike. The blond vampire pretended not to notice and looked at Xander.

“Cordy what happened? Who took them?” Xander asked and knelt in front of the crying woman sitting on the bed.

“I…they were playing and then someone knocked on the door…I was just on my way to open it…I thought it was you or maybe Angel,” Cordy explained “They just ripped the door open and…and.”

“They wanted the children?” Angel asked. In the background he could hear two more cars arriving.

“No not…only Beth,” the seer said and dried her eyes. She looked at the Hyena. He was busy looking around the room. Occasionally stopping to sniff the air.

“But Jonathan…Where is he?” Xander asked holding Cordy’s shaking hand.

“He wouldn’t let go of Beth. He kept hanging on to her hand…I guess they just took him with them because it was easier,” Cordy got up and straightened her clothes.

They were interrupted by shouting coming from the motel’s parking lot. The Hyena looked up and started growling and turned his attention to Xander.

“It’s Riley. He’s here,” Xander seemed uncertain what to do. But when the shouting came neared they could all hear that Buffy was doing most of it.

“Where is he?” the slayer screamed as she pushed her way past Fred and Wesley, both trying to enter the room “Where is that freak?”

Xander and the Hyena moved toward each other and Spike and Angel ended up standing in front of them. Gunn came running in and stopped when he saw Spike. In game face and pissed off.

“Shut your bleeding mouth bint!” Spike roared.

“He hurt Riley!” Buffy said pointing at Xander and the Hyena “They cut off his skin!” she screeched and waved a hand at Riley as he entered the room.

“So bloody what! Ain’t like he didn’t stand by and watch it being done to Xander!” Spike screamed back. 

Riley had the good sense to look slightly embarrassed and said “Buffy…don’t I’m okay. Giles took care…”

“Don’t tell me your fine!” Buffy interrupted “He doesn’t deserve…”

Spike grabbed on to Xander’s upper arm and pulled him forward. “Take your shirt off, pet.” he said gently. Xander frantically started shaking his head.

“Spike what the hell do you think…” Cordy began.

“Pet, please. Let ’em see,” Spike said. Xander kept shaking his head until the Hyena walked over and stood next to him. He slowly reached out and grabbed hold of the hem of Xander’s shirt.

The Hyena whined. Xander sighed and looked pleadingly at Spike. The blond vampire simply helped the Hyena pull the shirt over Xander’s head and off.

“What is that suppose to pro…” Buffy stopped and gasped when Spike gently turned Xander so his back was facing the slayer. So many scars. Cuts that had healed on their own. Silver ones. Big patches of discoloured skin. Some of them looked like burns, the skin uneven. Buffy looked at Riley then back at Xander. She turned around and left the room. Riley just stood there touching his bandaged arm.

\--------------------------------------------------------

They were all looking at the map spread out on the hood of Angels car. Gunn and Fred were taking weapons out of the trunk of Gunn’s car and talking in hushed voices. Buffy pointed to one of the sewer tunnels and said.

“They might have used this one to get away.” she didn’t look up. She hadn’t looked at anyone since seeing Xander’s scars. Willow stood next to her but she seemed subdued as well. She would glance in Xander’s direction now and again but she hadn’t approached him. Willow had tried to talk to her old friend but the Hyena had growled at her.

“Giles?” Angel asked.

“Yes," the watcher looked at Wesley and began “From Cordy’s description we believe the demons to be Chatanas,” Giles seemed uncomfortable “There is no easy way to say this…As you know Beth is God’s promise. These demons will need her to open the Hellmouth.”

“We’ve found a reference to the ritual they will perform. The Chatanas will need her blood to complete it.” The Hyena started growling. 

“They have no use for the boy,” Wesley continued. Silence settled between them.

“Would they kill him?” Gunn asked. There was a sharp sound of metal breaking and they all turned and looked at Xander. He was holding the side mirror from Angel’s car in his hand. The Hyena whined and moved closer to Xander.

“They have no use for him,” Wesley repeated and looked away.


	18. Chapter 18

The sewer tunnel was dark and dank. The Hyena had at first refused to go down there. Whining and pulling Xander away from the opening.

“Bad,” the Hyena repeated in a low keening “Bad.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

“I don’t understand why they wouldn’t let me come with them,” Willow complained “They need me. And Spike and Angel keep looking at me as if…”

“Shut up,” Giles said leaning against the car.

“What?” Willow seemed stunned.

“I told you to shut up, Willow.” the watcher took his glasses of and stuffed them in his pocket.

“What?” the redhead couldn’t believe…

“They don’t trust you, Willow. And frankly I don’t blame them,” Giles turned to look at her “You use spells as if it’s a simple cake recipe. You substitute whenever you feel like it and you do things…” the watcher seemed to search for the right words “You do things half-assed and show no consideration for anyone but yourself.”

“Oh,” was all Willow could muster.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Gunn and Graham were standing by the opening of the sewer tunnel. They were supposed to wait for the others there. Gunn kept an eye on the car. Riley was in there sitting in the backseat. The two soldiers hadn’t spoken since getting in the car.

Graham started pacing back and forth in front of Gunn.

“Man, you gotta relax.” Gunn said clenching his hand around an axe. He reached out and stopped the other man.

“Four years, Gunn. I’ve had him for four years…if I…” Graham ran a shaking hand through his short hair.

“Look I’ve seen Angel and Spike fight for things they didn’t really give a damn about,” Gunn admitted “They still fought with all they had. And this…this is family. Jonathan and Beth,” Gunn watched as Graham nodded.

“Xander’s going to kill anyone who gets in his way, isn’t he?” Graham asked.

“Him and Hyenaboy,” Gunn snorted “Won’t be any demons left for the vamps.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Xander couldn’t really see anything. His heightened senses were all part of the Hyena. He reached out and held on to Spike’s duster. He could hear Angel and Buffy moving up ahead but most sounds were drowned out by the Hyena whining right next to him.

Spike pulled Xander closer and whispered in his ear “If things get…if they go badly…promise me ya’ll get out with the little ones. No looking back, no vamp-rescue-bullocks. Promise.”

Xander wished he could see Spike’s face in the dark. He sounded sad. As if he was begging.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Call Giles!” Wesley barked and reread the new translation. Fred nervously nodded and fumbled with the cell phone until Cordy grabbed it and started dialling.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Willow was still sulking and Giles had had about enough of her pouting and sighing. He was just about to say something when his phone rang.

“Yes…Ah Cordy I’m afraid I don’t understand…no I’m not implying that you’re stupid…no…Could I perhaps talk to Wesley?” Giles waited “Wesley…yes? A new translation of the text concerning the Chatanas?…Oh…Oh my God! No…I’ll call yes yes of course….Wesley? Thank you.”

Willow stopped pouting and looked interested instead. Giles frantically started dialling.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Angel felt the cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He stopped moving and signalled to Buffy and Spike to stop as well. He pulled out the phone.

“What?…I…the demons?…no I can’t hear…” Angel whispered “I’m losing you…Giles…I can’t…” Angel looked at the phone and started swearing.

“Whot?” Spike asked clutching Xander’s hand.

“I don’t know. Something about the demons…about the ritual…” Angel said shaking his cell phone as if that would force it to work properly.

“It’s the sewers. You get bad reception here,” Buffy explained and moved away when the Hyena appeared next to Angel.

“Bad…smells…bad,” he whined and grabbed Angel’s wrist.

“We’re in the sewer, Whiny. It always stinks down here,” Buffy hissed.

Angel rubbed the Hyena’s neck reassuringly.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Gunn squinted at the display on his phone.

“Yeah,” he said holding it to his ear “Giles. Yeah we’re waiting for…They probably have bad reception down there…Oh shit!” Gunn’s tone of voice made Graham stop pacing. He watched the other man put the phone away.

“We’re gonna have to go down there,” Gunn pointed at the sewer entrance “We need to give them the new information.”

“Shit’s gonna hit the fan?” Graham asked looking over at Riley sitting in the car.

“Yeah,” Gunn confirmed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan growled at the demon as both children were unceremoniously dumped in a corner of the chamber. His nose was bleeding. One of the demons had slapped him when he wouldn’t let go of Beth. He hugged himself and started humming quietly.

Beth slowly sat up and crawled closer to Jonathan. She wanted her Daddy. She didn’t like being down here in the dark. She was startled when a clammy hand landed on hers. A low whining calmed her down and she looked over at Jonathan. The boy’s face was smeared with blood and he kept drying it away from his nose with the back of his hand.

“I wanna go home,” she whispered “I wanna go home and I want my Daddy,” Jonathan scooted closer to her “I want my Mister Fang.” The boy nodded and growled when one of the demons walked by them.

The room was slowly being filled with light as the demons moved around the chamber lighting the torches hanging on the walls. The room was square with a big black rectangular slab of stone in the middle.

The demons, tall with skin that looked as if it was rotting off their bodies, occasionally moved over to the rectangle and chanted. Every time one demon chanted the others would answer by repeating its words.

“I want my Daddy,” Beth whispered in the gloom of the chamber.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t see shit,” Gunn hissed as he moved slowly through the sewer tunnel. Stinking muck stuck to his shoes. They had a flashlight but the dark seemed to swallow its yellow beam. 

Riley had been left by the car. Gunn hadn’t said it out loud but it was obvious that he didn’t trust the nervous soldier.

Graham almost tripped and grabbed hold of Gunn’s shoulder. Finally they heard someone whine and muffled voices. They turned a bend in the tunnel and saw Xander and the others.

“Angle,” Gunn said as he ran forward “The watcher has a message for ya.”

“What?” the vampire asked frowning.

“The Chatanas...they won’t just open the Hellmouth if they use Beth’s blood,” Gunn said looking at Spike and Xander. Buffy moved closer. The Hyena was holding on to Angel’s jacket. He snarled and balled his fist in the leather.

“Wesley says that if they follow through with the ritual they’re gonna be opening every Hellmouth on earth,” Gunn said.


	19. Chapter 19

Spike had called him a Nazi.

A Nazi.

At first he’d found the mere thought ridiculous. What he did was necessary. During his training he’d been shown pictures of victims. Men with their hearts ripped out of their chests. Women with open neck wounds. Children…

Disembowelled children.

He had been trained to deal with the monsters that had committed those heinous deeds. He had never felt sorry for a single one of those demons. Never. Except…Xander.

Xander curled up on the floor begging him not to touch him. Begging.

He’d watched as Xander slowly lost his humanity. Became an animal. He had lied to Buffy and Willow. Told them that Xander would come back. And at the same time he was helping the doctors strip the last remnants of Xander’s humanity away.

Riley opened the car door and stepped out. A cold breeze made him shiver and zip up his jacket.

Graham had come to him. Eyes red, barely awake. Graham had begged as well. Shown him a scrawny infant and begged him not to report it. Begged him to help. If it had been anyone else…anyone at all… he would have said no. He would have reported him.

Spike had called him a Nazi.

Riley found a flashlight in the trunk of the car and walked over to the entrance of the sewer tunnel.

But Graham had saved his life too many times for Riley to just turn his back.

And still he watched as Xander - once human Xander - started losing his language. Started whining and growling and still Riley hadn’t stopped it.

Spike had called him a Nazi and for the first time ever he thought that maybe Spike wasn’t that far off the mark.

He stared into the darkness of the tunnel and sighed. He let the yellow beam of the flashlight guide him as he was engulfed by the darkness.

\------------------------------------------------

One of the big scary demons towered over Beth and Jonathan. The boy growled weakly and Beth kept crying. The demon reached down and grabbed hold of her slim and fragile wrist. Jonathan started pulling on her other arm. The demon bared its teeth.

Big yellow teeth.

Like the teeth in the story Daddy would sometimes tell her. The story about the wolf and the grandma and the little girl. Why are your teeth so big?

Another demon joined the first one. He seemed bigger. Bigger and angrier. He snarled and growled at the demons around him. They bowed their heads and whispered reverently. He had a golden chalice in his hand. It glinted in the soft light from the torches.

The demons started chanting and the big one, the one holding on to Beth’s wrist reached his hand out toward another demon. This one was smaller and looked older. It knelt in front of the two other demons and presented a small dagger to them. It was silver and had symbols engraved in the blade. Small squiggly lines.

The larger demon took the dagger and chanted. The demon bend down and pressed it against Beth’s wrist. She started screaming when she saw the blood run down the blade and into the chalice. Jonathan reached out and pushed against the dagger. His small fingers slipping along the sharp blade. The demon growled angrily and backhanded the boy sending him flying against the wall. It let go of Beth and took the dagger and the chalice with it. The smaller demon started chanting as he placed his hands over the chalice. Then he lifted the dagger and held it over the golden chalice and the other demons started humming in low voices.

None of the demons noticed that a few drops of blood fell from the dagger and into the chalice. They didn’t notice how each drop of blood made a sizzling sound as it mixed with the blood already there.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“How many?” Gunn whispered looking over at Angel.

“I counted at least 30 or 40. And there might be more of them. Hidden somewhere,” he answered looking back from where he had been spying on the Chatanas.

“Beth? Jonathan?” Xander sounded nervous and the Hyena kept pulling on his arm.

“I…I’m sorry Xander I didn’t see them. I could only see part of the room,” Angel looked over at Spike and said “Me and Buffy go in first. Then you, Xander and the Hyena follow us,” Spike nodded and Angel continued “Gunn and Graham. I want you to focus on the children. When you have them you get out. No matter what,” both humans nodded and hefted their weapons.

They all moved closer to the entrance of the chamber. Humming and chanting filled the air. Spike reached out and touched first Xander and then the Hyena. Angel looked back at them, nodded and burst into the chamber with Buffy.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Riley was sure he was moving in the right direction. He crouched down when he heard Angel’s voice. Whispering instructions to the others.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Angel was fighting off three demons. They were all strong and their teeth, big and jagged, kept snapping uncomfortably close to his neck. He remembered Wesley talking about how they fed on vampires. Angel ducked and managed to grab onto one of the demons and snapping its neck.

Spike was fighting his way through the room. He blocked several demons attempting to get to Xander and the Hyena. Both of them were trying to clear a way for Graham and Gunn. Buffy ran past them on her way to the altar in the middle of the big room. The demon standing there looked up and started chanting. Its voice growing in volume. When the slayer was only a few feet away the demon pored the blood from the chalice onto the black stone altar.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Beth tried to wake Jonathan up. He was still bleeding from his nose and the small gash on his forehead. But Jonathan just wouldn’t wake up. She heard demons screaming.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Pack.

He needed to find his pack. Protect the little ones. The stench of decay and fear filled his nostrils and confused him. He tried to keep track of the Alpha and the other pack members but the attack on his senses kept distracting him.

Apple shampoo and cinnamon.

Beth.

Following the scent. Letting it wash over him and sooth him. Suddenly he was slammed against the wall. His vision was blurry and the back of his head hurt. The demon reached down and pulled him up by the collar of his shirt. A flash of something wooden and sharp.

Pain.

Feeling his hands clench around the demon’s. Attempting to pull them away.

Xander.

Pack.

Xander rushing forward cutting through the demon’s wrists with his short sword. The Chatana falling to the floor screaming as the pack member plunged the sword into its chest.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Xander breathed as he skidded to a halt and knelt down. The stake-like weapon embedded in the Hyena’s stomach. His hands covered in the Hyena’s blood. He attempted to put pressure on the wound but kept having his hands pushed away every time.

“No no. Pack. Beth…little ones,” the Hyena continued to mumble as Xander gave up and started dragging him into the corner where Beth and Jonathan were hiding.

\--------------------------------------------------------

“Vision!” Cordy moaned as she felt her knees buckle in.

\----------------------------------------------------------

Angel surveyed the chamber. The demons seemed enraged by something happening by the altar. Apparently it wasn’t that their priest had been killed. They had grabbed the cooling body and unceremoniously dumped it on the floor.

What seemed to upset them was the chalice and the blood on the altar. If Giles had been right the blood should have opened Hellmouths all over the world. Hordes of demons should be filling the room. Spilling onto the streets. But nothing had happened.

One of the Chatanas lifted the chalice and sniffed it’s contends. It roared and barked orders to the other demons. The demons all seemed to turn their attention on Xander, the Hyena and the children. As one entity the Chatanas stormed towards them.

Graham and Gunn were fighting back to back. The demons moved closer and found it easier and easier to find weak spots. Gunn hissed when one of the Chatanas cut through his jeans and blood started spilling down his thigh.

Spike ducked and weaved his way past the demons. He killed whenever he knew he could finish it fast. He needed to get to Xander and the Hyena. He could smell the Hyena’s blood. The scent bringing his demon to the surface.

\-----------------------------------------------------

“Cordy are you all right?” Fred tentatively asked.

“Yes,” the seer was resting on the motel bed “It’s Xander…” she said and closed her eyes.

“Xander?” Wesley repeated “What about him, Cordy? Was he in your vision?”

“Yes…I saw Xander,” she attempted to sit up but the room kept spinning. “Xander bleeding.”

Wesley and Fred moved closer in order to hear her hushed words.

“Xander dying,” Cordy whispered.


	20. Chapter 20

Angel and Buffy started fighting their way through the demons blocking their path. They needed to get to Xander and the children. Spike was closer than both Angel and Buffy and they could hear him swearing and yelling for Gunn and Graham to get the children out.

Gunn was limping next to Graham as they fought their way to the other end of the chamber.

\----------------------------------------------------

Beth and Jonathan were hiding behind Xander and the Hyena. The little girl kept licking her wounded wrist. Xander had propped the Hyena against the wall next to the children and had given him his knife. It wasn’t much but he would at least have something.

Xander stood in front of them and watched as all the demons turned their attention on the four of them. One of the smaller demons lunged forward and Xander used his short sword to clear the room around him. It wouldn’t work for long. The Chatanas were too many and he would be overrun and then…then they would get Beth and Jonathan. They would get the Hyena.

With new determination, and the hope that Spike or Angel would come to the rescue, Xander engaged every one of the demons that attempted to get past him. He was fighting off one of the larger demons when he was hit in the back. The scorching pain moved all the way up his spine and made him feel dizzy. He turned around and faced the biggest of the demons.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Blood.

Read thick blood.

The Hyena felt it pooling underneath him as he slowly slid down on his side. He just couldn’t…

always the weakest.

The little ones. Pack. Terrified.

Each breath a task needing deep consideration.

He whined. Hoping that the pack would hear him.

\------------------------------------------------------

Riley had been wondering what he would do when he finally found the others. But really there wasn’t much to think about. For once he could do something because it was right.

Not out of misguided patriotism. Not because it was expected of him. Not because he was ordered to do it. But simply because it was the right thing to do.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Xander was thrown to the floor. The demon on top of him before he could react. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Beth crying, hiding behind the nearly unconscious Hyena. Jonathan was there as well growling quietly and watching Xander. The demon straddled his hips and Xander saw the gleam of something silvery swoosh through the air.

He hadn’t felt pain like that since the Initiative. Hadn’t felt the kind of pain that immediately made your skin pale and your every muscle tighten. The demon kept stabbing him. Again. Again. Again.

He tried to push the Chatana away but it just growled and hissed at him. Showing its teeth. And Xander felt his hands lose strength. Felt how his heartbeat pounded in his ears. The loud boom almost eradicating all other sounds. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered his fingers breaking when the demon pushed his hand to the ground.

He heard Beth cry. Why was she crying? His vision was blurry and white around the edges. He just felt so sleepy.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

At first Angel was surprised to see Riley burst into the room. He wasn’t armed and Angel threw him his sword. Freeing his own hands of the burden and then he just decided to trust the former soldier to help and turned his attention to more important things.

There weren’t more than five or six demons left.

Angel’s head whipped up when he heard Spike scream. The blond vampire was ripping one of the bigger demons to pieces. Blood and gore staining the walls. On the ground by their feet was Xander. Pale and shivering.

Angel watched as Buffy and Riley killed the remaining demons while Gunn and Graham went to take care of the shocked children. Slowly Angel approached Spike.

\---------------------------------------------------------

“No Xander no…come on stay awake, pet.” Spike was cradling Xander in his arms. Thick blood running over his fingers where he was putting pressure on the deep wounds. The vampire looked over and saw Gunn trying to keep the Hyena from getting up.

The Hyena would whine with every movement and his hands clutched around the stake buried in his stomach. Spike could hear Angel’s angry and frightened voice. The older vampire had finally gotten a signal and was talking to Giles on the phone. He heard Angel swear and put the phone away.

“Spike. If he passes out…Giles said…If he passes out the Hyena will reunite with him. And with their combined injuries…” Angel looked away.

“Beth?” Xander’s strained voice croaked. Spike looked over at the children standing with Graham. They were too far away for them to see all the blood “Please…S-spike. I want to see Beth and…and Jonathan.”

“Xander,” Angel said.

“Please,” Xander’s eyes never left Spike’s as he begged. Buffy stepped forward and gently wrapped her grey coat around Xander. It covered the blood and the wounds. Spike looked up and nodded in gratitude.

“Beth,” Spike called “Jonathan…come here.” Both children were guided over by Graham. Spike reached out and held on to the little girl’s hand. She knelt down and caressed her Daddy’s hair.

“Hey Beth,” Xander whispered “You okay?” The little girl nodded and sobbed “And Jonathan?” the little boy was standing next to Spike holding on to Graham “Hey there Jonathan,” Xander smiled.

“Daddy?” Beth asked and Jonathan started a low keening.

“It’s gonna be okay, Beth. Promise. You go with Graham now. Spike’s going to be out…” Xander breathed deep “…in a few minutes.”

Graham helped Beth up and started guiding the children out of the chamber. Beth looked over her shoulder.

“Go on, Beth…go on.” Xander nodded his head weakly.

“Bye, Daddy.” she whispered.

“Bye, Baby.”

The second the children were out of sight Xander seemed to lose the last of his strength. He made a low noise filled with pain and fear. His breath hitched and he shivered. Xander exhaled and shuddered. His eyes rolling back in his head.

“No!” Spike shook him “No Xander!” The vampire looked over at Gunn and as he watched the Hyena dissolved into thin air. A sharp clang was heard when the stake fell to the ground.

Blood started seeping through Buffy’s coat. Riley saw Buffy fall to her knees next to Spike. Her fingers twitching in the air. She had no idea what to do. How to fix things.

“He’s bleeding out,” she murmured her eyes filled with tears.

“Turn him,” Angel suggested.

“What!” Buffy looked up at the vampire in disbelieve.

“Turn him, Spike!” Angel repeated solemnly.

“No!” Spike said and held Xander’s body closer to his chest. He could feel the heartbeat slow down. “No! His soul…I-I,”

“We can bind his soul later…after, Spike.” Angel pressed on.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Buffy said holding on to Xander’s clammy hand.

“No…Xander deserves…” Angel was interrupted.

“He said,” Riley offered quietly “He said…he thought he didn’t have a soul…that he’d lost it.”

Angel grabbed on to Spike’s arm “Turn him!”

“No…Angel…No,” Spike whispered. Begged.

“He’s lived through so much,” Angel said gently drying the tears away from Spike’s pale cheek “Lost so much. Spike, he deserves to see things through. He deserves to watch Beth and Jonathan grow up.”

Spike looked down at Xander’s face. His skin slowly loosing it’s colour.

“Spike. If you won’t do it…I will,” Angel said.


	21. Chapter 21

Spike had said only one thing to Angel

“If he calls me Sire…” and Spike’s eyes turned golden and he punched a hole in the wall.

\-----------------------------------------------------

Spike had carried Xander to the car. The young man cradled against his chest. Pale. Dead. Spike hadn’t said a single word after they arrived at the motel. He wouldn’t look Angel in the eyes and growled whenever anyone came close.

They watched as Spike carried Xander into the motel room. Watched as he gently, lovingly, put Xander on the bed. Watched as he slammed the door in their faces.

Cordy had fumed, screamed and demanded.

Angel had denied, deflected and brooded.

The children were quiet. Beth wouldn’t eat and Jonathan whined and keened.

Buffy had left with Riley and Willow. The witch had denied to leave. Had demanded to see Xander until Spike had barged out of the motel room and told her in no uncertain terms what would happen if she didn’t “piss off!”

Wesley and Giles were preparing the necessary spells. If Xander woke up without his soul…

If Xander woke up…

\-----------------------------------------------------

Angel, Wesley and Giles were sitting in Angel’s motel room. The watchers had finished their preparations. And for the first time since coming back from the underground chamber they could talk about what had happened.

“Jonathan saved the day,” Giles smiled sadly.

“Balance,” Wesley said and nodded “His blood mixed with Beth’s brought balance.”

“And so the world can thank a four year old little boy for its continued existence,” Angel said looking out the window, watching Graham and Fred bring back food for the children.

“But,” Giles said “only part of the prophecy has come true.”

“The slayer?” Angel asked remembering how Buffy had denied to speak to him after…

“Yes,” Wesley said “God’s Gift shall rule the Slayer,” he recited glumly.

They sat in silence for some time.

“How long now?” Giles asked.

“If Spike succeeded …maybe a day or two…But Xander’s different. It might not work,” Angel said.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Spike had undressed Xander, thrown his blood drenched clothes out and given him a bath. He had watched as the young man lay motionless on the bed. He paced back and forth until he grew bored.

Watched TV. Some daft bugger going on and on about elephants. Boring barmy git in khaki attire. Spike only continued to watch it because he hoped to see the idiot skewered on a tusk. He wasn’t and Spike turned the TV off.

The vampire decided to take a shower. As he stood there under the warm spray he heard the bedsprings creak. Spike rushed out and stood there naked and dripping all over the floor. The figure on the bed moved infinitesimally.

”S…”

Spike swallowed. His eyes were fixed on Xander’s lips.

”Sssss…Spike?” Xander sounded confused. He slowly propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. Suddenly he jumped off the bed and examined his chest and stomach. ”Spike what the hell?” He started moving toward Spike when he suddenly stopped and seemed to panic. ”Oh God is Beth…Jonathan…did we? I don’t remember. Why don’t I remember? Spike? Please. Tell me!” he was panicking.

Spike pulled him close and held him tight. ”Sshhh pet,” he soothed and lead Xander to the bed. They curled up under the covers.

”Tell me…please,” the trembling man begged.

”Didn’t mean to worry you. Beth an’ Jonathan are fine…scared but safe,” Spike whispered in Xander’s ear and rubbed his back.

”I’m so hungry,” Xander said craning his neck so he could look up at Spike.

”You’ll have to feed off me,” Spike said and slowly sat.

”Um…” Xander mumbled ”I couldn’t just have a burger?”

”Whot?” Spike looked stunned.

”Not blood-hungry here. Burger-hungry or maybe pizza?” he frowned. He could eat both actually. He was so damn hungry. Oh and Twinkies. Did they have Twinkies in the vending machine outside?

”So…you don’t feel an urge to feed off me?” Spike asked and looked confused.

”Well not more than usual…” Xander smirked ”I mean I wouldn’t mind but…um…”

”Burger?” Spike asked tilting his head as he studied Xander’s face.

”Yeah,” Xander nodded.

”Thank God!” Spike yelled as he jumped out of the bed and sprinted to the door, opened it and ran over to Angel’s room.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

”Um Cordy?” Fred looked out of the window facing the sparsely lit motel parking lot.

”Yes?” Cordy answered.

”Why is Spike running around the parking lot in um…all his nakedness?” the blushing young woman asked.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

”Spike! Spike!” Angel was trying to get his childe’s attention. ”SPIKE!”

The blond vampire stopped his victory lap around the parking lot. He turned and looked at Angel.

”Whot?” Spike asked and put his hands on his hips.

”You…” the older vampire waved a hand in Spike’s general direction ”You’re naked.”

”So?” Spike smirked.

”So you’re naked and you’re happy and running around…I take it that Xander woke up,” Angel smiled.

”Yeah,” Spike nodded ”Yeah he did!”

\----------------------------------------------------------

He had a reflection. He was a vampire with a reflection. He snorted and then started giggling. Spike joined him in the bathroom. He looked a bit worried.

”Whot?” the blond vampire asked.

”Look! Spike look!” Spike did as Xander demanded and grinned.

”Bloody hell, that’s priceless.” he said and kissed Xander’s cheek and ruffled his hair. Xander watched his reflection. His hair seemed to come alive and move on its own. ”Show me your game face?” the blond asked.

”Um…how do I do that?” Xander frowned at his own reflection and turned to look at Spike.

”Wha’ ya mean how?” Spike tilted his head and looked bewildered.

”Um…I mean…eh…” Xander scrunched up his face and snarled. Spike sniggered. ”What?”

”You look like a daft git,” he chuckled ”You do it like this,” Spike went into game face and snarled.

”Impressive,” Xander deadpanned and made another attempt.

”Sorry, Luv.” Spike put his arms around Xander’s waist ”Don’t think you have a game face.”

\------------------------------------------------------------

Cordy hugged him and hugged him. It was as if she needed the physical connection. As if she needed to convince herself that he was really there breathing and…well not so much with the breathing but okay in an undead sort of way.

”We won’t need the soul resurrection spell then,” Giles said and smiled at the young man.

”No,” Xander said shaking his head and sat down on Giles’ couch. Beth cuddled up to him and Jonathan sat down by this feet.

There was a knock on the front door and Giles went to see who it was.

”Ah Buffy,” the watcher said and sounded uncertain. The slayer walked in followed by Willow and Riley. The three of them just stood there in the hallway and watched the others.

Angel was having a conversation with Wesley and Fred. They seemed to be discussing Xander because every now and then they would point in his direction or mention his name. They seemed excited and happy.

Gunn was showing Graham a crossbow. Explaining all its details and how the soldier should always keep it well oiled.

Spike was leaning against the wall next to the couch sipping his mug of warm blood. He smiled as he watched Xander and the children talk and cuddle.

Cordy was the first to acknowledge Buffy’s presence.

”Buffy,” the seer simply said.

”Cordy…” Buffy nodded and turned to face Xander ”Giles called and told us you were…okay,” the last word was said with disbelieve. Spike growled but stayed put.

”Yeah,” Xander said and pulled the children closer ”I’m all right. Not feeling the urge to dine on the good citizens of Sunnyhell.” Buffy kept quiet but nodded.

”So…you’re…I mean you have your soul?” Willow said and started moving toward Xander.

”Don’t,” Xander said and slowly stood up.

”What?” Willow asked bewildered.

”I don’t want you anywhere near me, Willow.” Xander just said.

”But you’re okay…You’re fine. Giles said…” she was interrupted by Spike.

”Ya really think he’s forgotten wha’ you did?”

”But…but…I…but,” Willow sputtered.

”I just can’t…” Xander sighed ”I just can’t forgive you, Will.” he shook his head ”You could just have asked you know.”

”Asked?”

”Yeah. Asked. You could have asked me about what my life had been like,” Xander was standing in front of her, studying her face.

”But would you have told me?” she whispered.

”In time…yes…In time I would have. But you didn’t give me a choice. You just took what you wanted. With no regard for me,” Xander looked over at Riley ”You aren’t really that different from those soldiers,” he continued and looked Willow in the eyes ”They took from me as well, without caring about what it would do to me. Without permission.”

Willow gasped and held a hand over her mouth. She frantically shook her head and ran out of the room.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

”So,” Buffy said as they stood outside by the cars ”This is it.”

”Yeah,” Xander smiled sadly.

”Will you…do you think you would come…here…to visit?” Buffy looked down at her shoes. Xander pulled her close and hugged her tight.

”Buffy. I won’t be coming back…” he tucked a blond lock of hair behind her ear ”But you could come to LA…visit…Shop with Queen C.”

”Daddy?” Beth called.

”Your master awaits,” Buffy giggled.

”You have no idea,” Xander laughed and lifted Beth up.

He walked over to Angel’s car. Beth climbed in and Xander turned to look at Jonathan. The little boy was hugging Graham. The soldier looked as if he could break into little itty bitty pieces any second. Xander walked over to them.

”You’re always welcome in LA,” Xander said as he gently pried Jonathan’s fingers away from Graham’s leg ”There’ll be a room waiting for you. If you want it.”

”Permanently?” Graham asked.

”If you want it to be,” Xander answered.

”Thanks.”

”He still needs you,” Xander said and rubbed the crying boy’s back ”Just differently now.”

\------------------------------------------------

”Xander,” Giles said.

”Giles,” Xander nodded and then found himself being pulled into a hug.

”I…” Giles began still hugging Xander close ”I never had any children of my own but…”

”I know,” Xander said and closed his eyes ”I know.”

\------------------------------------------------

Willow watched Xander get in the car with Jonathan. She saw Giles stand there and watch the cars disappear around the corner. He looked so tired. So old as he stood there. She started crying again as she thought about Xander’s last words to her. There had been no hug, no invitation. Nothing. Just….

”You aren’t really that different from those soldiers. They took from me as well without caring about what it would do to me. Without permission.”


End file.
